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Every time I make dinner, I always manage to mess something up.
Today, I completely neglected to add the ham into the scalloped potatoes.
This is such a trivial thing, so why is it upsetting me so much?
I guess I feel that since I don't have a job (and therefore don't contribute to the family in a financial way), making dinner is one of the few things that I can do around the house that makes me feel like I'm worth something. I am seriously close to tears right now because of this, as silly as that sounds.
I swear my mom didn't mention the ham when she was telling me what to do. Maybe she did, though... or maybe she didn't need to. I mean, why else would the ham have been thawing out of the fridge all day? I even saw it this morning, when she asked if it was still there. I should have connected the two, but I didn't. :/
If I can't cook, and if I can't use my common sense for such simple things, what can I do with my life?
Maybe I'm just being too conscious of it. As I was cutting the potatoes, I kept thinking to myself, "Don't mess up. Don't forget this and that." Yet here we are. A significantly less satisfying dinner for my family, and a significant decrease to the self-esteem boost I had as I actually made the food.
I feel so lame. :'(