No, this isn't going to include a second piece of writing. Just...a second journal entry to sort of conclude my melodramatic musings from last night. Let it be known that I have lots of emotions running rampant through my mind/heart right now, no doubt brought about by mother nature stopping in for her monthly visit. I'm also in what I believe to be a difficult place in my life because I've reached what I would call a "fork in the road". What I do right now will effect where my life goes from here on and I think it'll be in a huge way. That idea alone scares the living s**t out of me. Growing up is a very scary and final step, but I think I can do it. I just have to take the right steps and not trip up along the way.
I've been going back and forth between a lot of different professions and stuff...or at least majors anyway. I haven't been able to decide what I really want to do. I have so many passions and hobbies. I don't like the idea of having to give up any of them, and I think I've finally found a comfortable place in which I can take advantage of them all. Unfortunately, that would require another move, if I really wanted to do this. For those of you who don't know, there aren't a lot of opportunities when it comes to an education in Film development in Kentucky. Like...at all. There isn't even a school that offers a program around here. So...I don't know what to do. I don't want to move again. I'm tired of moving and I'm tired of nothing being stable.
So I feel like that is my crossroads. I just watched the final disk in Supernatural Season Six today, so I'm very tempted to say "Crossroads Demon". Damn you, Crowley! You've caught me in your evil web.
All joking aside, thus is my predicament. Should I choose stability and give up the idea of going to school? Or should I go to school and pursue a profession that's not even 100% guaranteed and forfeit what little stability I have right now? For now, I think that I might put school off, as much as I hate the idea of it. I hate not going to school because I feel like I'm standing still when I'm not learning, but I don't want to pay the price and lose everything I still have. So...maybe I'll get a job and save up. For now, I feel like that's all I can do.
I don't know if this sounds like a depressing entry or anything. I feel a little depressed about this decision, but I feel like it's the right one and I think I'll be able to make peace with it. It'll just take a little time is all.
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