Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Facts of Life

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you're in Australia -- then start worrying)

Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.

Drive carefully It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work..

A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

If at first you don't succeed ... well, so much for sky diving.

A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 -- Women, 2 -- Fractions
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Where Is God?

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children,so she asked if he would speak with her boys.The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old in first that morning,with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,"Where is God?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.When his older brother found him in the closet,he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"