For the last 6 months, I've been in love with a girl. The feeling is so extraordinary, more passionate than all the infatuations I've felt in my life. She's been the type who cuts herself when she's depressed. Cursed with an abusive mother and father, she was always depressed, always cutting, and even drinking until she passes out. I worry about her so much; the drinking has stopped a couple months ago, thank god. But only because she doesn't have a person to purchase the alcohol for her.
Her mother had grown more abusive as time passed by, to the point she had been spreading lies about my love to their neighborhood; using her three year old sister to tell people that my love is sick in the head. Of course, she also talked the three year old sibling that anything that goes on in their house is no one else's business.
As of December 5th, or 6th, I went to her school and went in with her to see her councilor. We told him about her abusive her mom has been, and that I was really worried what would happen. She was considering suicide just a couple days before, and I cried my tears out on the phone with her trying to change her mind. Two days after the meeting with her councilor, the police took her from her school and brought her to a shelter on the opposite side of the island.(Hawaii, Oahu) The rules of the shelter she's staying at are really strict. We were only allowed to speak for 6 minutes a day, 12 if she bought time with 'points' they earn for chores and such. And I can't see her in person.
After exactly 68 days, little over two months, her depression has been coming and leaving. Mostly because she hates living in a shelter with a few other girls. I blame myself so much, that I feel it's my fault she's miserable right now. They don't let any of the girls cut, drink, or do anything or have anything that might hurt them. So she does things to inflict pain on herself. Just today, she used the ridge of a fence to cut her hand when they all had gone to a park. I hate it when she cuts; I hate it when she abuses herself because it makes her feel better. I try so hard to talk her out of it, and had even threatened to start cutting if she continued. She begs me not to, and it only makes me feel worse to do what she doesn't want me to do. I feel helpless not being able to see her, and it really gets me down. I haven't slept all night or day thinking on this.
What can I do to convince her? What can I do to help her? I want to do everything I can. Everything I try either doesn't work, or back fires. I feel helpless; 6-12 minutes on the phone isn't enough to talk to her about it each day. Hell, we spent hours and hours on the phone before she was in a shelter. I write to her almost every day, and trying so hard to give her something to read that will make her smile. But I still feel helpless, and I really would like some advice of what I can do...
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