Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

You love him so much. With all of your heart really. And it hurts you so much whenever your thoughts go toward your lover and how much he cheats on you.
You've known, you've always known. You found out about it when you had come home earlier than expected one day, hoping to surprise him.
But it broke your heart to see him in bed with another. It hurt so ******** much. But you decided to ignore it. The both of you knew.
You both decided to ignore the incident, but it grew increasingly harder and harder to ignore the many times he went behind your back to screw the other one.
The other Seunghyun.
Was he that unworthy of his love? To make Jiyong do this to him, he must really be ******** up.
The both of you ignore the days where Jiyong goes out, where he goes meet up with the other Seunghyun. He tells you he is simply going to meet up with his friends, hang out, have a beer, but the both of you know better.
So you decide to confront him. Because it's gone on long enough and you simply can't turn your back again and again as he tears your heart into pieces. You always stayed at home and stared into empty space, not knowing what to do with yourself. You always stayed at home whenever he was out screwing the other one. Because you're a coward. You don't want to acknowledge something so painful. You'd rather ignore it, live in your blissful fantasy world, because when you voice it, that's when you know you'll have to confront your fears. You don't want to, but you know you have to sooner or later. You can't stay like this, heart breaking but pretending as if you were perfectly happy.
It's time you tell him that you know. It's time you guys both acknowledge the fact that you know he's cheating on you and it pains you, kills you to know it.
So you make your decision. You'll confront him when he gets home. You'll finally be able to get everything over and done with. Maybe you guys can go back to the days where you guys were so in love with each other, never wanting to even be away from each other for even a minute.
Maybe you guys can go back to the happy innocent days where your smile was just for him and your heart was swelling with that love you thought you'd always have and share with Jiyong.
The door opens and it's way past midnight, Jiyong stumbling in, clothes and hair a mess, face flushed. He's drunk again. He definitely reeks of alcohol, you can smell him from your place in the living room.
"Jiyong..." you call out to him softly, beckoning him to come over. He stumbles into the living room. Hm. So he isn't drunk. More of tipsy than drunk.
He walks over to you, wrapping his arms around your neck, placing sloppy kisses all over your face and neck, smile on his face.
"I missed you Hyunnie..." he whispered softly into your neck, nuzzling into it. Lies. He spouted out lies, you try and convince yourself. It doesn't work.
You try and not melt into his embrace, to give into his tempting kisses and intoxicating love. You steel your resolve, you attempt to pry his arms from around your neck.
"Jiyong." you tell him sternly, attempting to get away before you lost your will to confront this who ordeal.
"We need to talk." he pouts as he removes his arms from around your neck, and you suddenly miss his close proximity and you're so tempted to kiss him right there and then, his adorable pout making things hard for you.
Crossing his arms, he says in a slightly drunken slur, "What we need ta talk 'bout? Nothing to talk about."
"I know." you tell him, getting down to business and not wanting to drag things on for any longer.
At that, he stops pouting and he's standing up straight, back rigid and face set in a stony expression. He seems to be less tipsy now.
"Know about what?" he asks, trying to act coy and innocent, trying to act like he knows nothing of what you're trying to tell him.
"About... you and the other... Seunghyun." You tell him bluntly and he seems outraged as you gaze at his face. It's out in the open now. You're both acknowledge the fact that you know everything that's going on and his face is marred by a deep frown as he begins to open his mouth to speak.
"What?!" he yells at you, complete anger and fury seeping out of his entire being.
"You think I'd do that to you?! You think I'm that type of person?!" he attempts to deny everything. But you know better. You've seen it with your own to eyes.
"You think I would cheat on you? huh?!" he yells, spitting in your face, fists clenched.
You begin to feel your heart beat in an irregular rhythm, seeming as if it's breaking. Why won't he acknowledge it?
"Do you not trust me?!" he continues to yell at you.
"I know, Ji! Stop denying it!" you cry out, tears beginning to form in your eyes.
"Che. If you think I'm that disloyal, then we're THROUGH." he yells at your face, and you can feel your heart breaking, you can feel the tears trickling down your face.
All you do is begin to walk as he walks out the door, out of your life, leaving your heart a shattered mess upon the ground.
You wonder where he's going briefly, but all you can do is sob and you just sit there, in the living room. You're on the floor, and your heart is so broken you don't know if you can put it back together again after this.
And you just cry and cry, you cry your heart out because you're held it in for so long now, you've kept it all inside until this very moment, and you need to let everything out.