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Celiac disease. I have it. I hate it. But I hate people more that don't understand.

I know what I must do. There's a LOT I have to do now to be responsible and whatnot.

But you know... things about the disease? Makes it so I can't ******** do them myself. And I'm not keen on asking my parents for everything I need.

Want a window into my world? Here it is.

I'm tired, everyday. I get no nutrients from my food. You're probably thinking... "Shut the ******** up and swallow a damn vitamin." Wrong. Vitamins make me sick. And unless their in liquid form, my body barely gets a thing from them. Even in the tub I almost fall asleep now. Laziness? No. ******** fatigue, kplzthx?

Insomnia. I'm tired all the time yes...but at night, it doesn't make it easier to sleep. Slowly getting better but sometimes it gets hard.

The diet. Just give up wheat and live happy? HHAHAHAHAH! I hate ignorant fools who thinks that this is easy. Son of a b***h, seriously? Gluten (wheat, barley, rye and oats) are in nearly EVERYTHING. Not JUST food. Makeup, shampoo, conditioner and lots more I dun even wanna get into yet.

So I'm bitchy on this diet, nothing more to it. Simple, right? Wrong. Nearly everything I eat get cross contamination. Every. Single. Thing. Examples? The toaster. I have lovely g-free waffles I eat often. Well, the toaster we own has had tons and tons of gluten products put into it. I pop a waffle in and instant contamination. I don't know why but hand washing dishes isn't enough, and I don't have the money for a dishwasher. So I get more from dishes I bake in often. Even g-free fast food gets contaminated from just a touch. They touch a burger then touch my fry container. There ya go.

Alright...so we're getting the idea I hope by now? Not so much. I understand my friends care. Friendship and SUPPORT is a huge thing in this. Which is why I ask people to try to take a mother ******** hint sometimes. I don't need advice. Got it? I don't need or want it. =/ I know what I gotta do. I know what I CAN do. Shut your ******** mouth unless you've got this disease too because no matter how compassionate you may be, you will NEVER understand this.

Better than cancer? YES! I'm not saying Celiac is the worth thing ever! I'm so ******** happy it wasn't something worse! I love my life, even! If you think I'm too self absorbed into it, you're so wrong. It's a huge problem for me, but I count myself so ******** lucky I don't have to get chemo, alright?

So... once you go g-free, it's easier. Seriously, right? Nooooooo. So far for me at least. Thing is, I have Celiac paired with stress triggered anxiety/panic attacks. Panic attacks? I get sick to my stomach, I throw up, I have diarrhea, I have headaches, my legs shake, I cry hysterically, and I cannot move when they happen if they're severe. I don't know what triggers them but I'm on medications to help with them. Which adds to more fatigue. B[ Yeah. Lovely. But even on this diet... I've been doing good long enough to hope for some results. And I haven't noticed much.

Resentment... is a horrible thing in this. Seeing others eat things you can't in front of you or even when they mention things? It hurts. Celiacs have good and bad days. Literally. For no reason, they get sick at times. It's part of the body's immune system.

So was this a rant or a cry to be heard? I say both.

I need my friends, my loved ones. I need people to know exactly how this gets to me. My triggers, and my sensitivities.

I don't want to have to be compared to other people with like, diabetes or anything. All diseases suck. Every single one of them. Seeing things like the Tree Man make me SO damn happy for this disease... I don't have bark growing off of me. I'm so thankful for all I have.

But please... think before you say something. Again. I don't want advice unless you've researched the ******** out of this. People only think, "It's just a food allergy." No...

Please give me help, hope and support. No more "Well what about-" No more of it! I deal with it everyday. Thinking of how I can better myself is something I ask myself every minute. Give me time to sort out things. Emotionally, I'm distraught. Because I have that wish again to be "normal".