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A documentation of a human's existence.
Several years worth of entries. Not routinely updated.
It's been awhile, hasn't it?
Right now i'm listening to Relient K. It's been too long, it really has. Lately whenever I'm listening to music now I stick with one group for at least a week. And Relient K's been down on my list. But i clicked on my profile today (which i rarely do, just in case you're wondering) and music started playing, and guess what, it was Relient K and i thought, gee, When was the last time i listened to that? So i opened up my little rhapsody music playing dealio and searched my library for some relient k. The weird thing is, all the songs on the "mmhmm" cd are mis-named so i was looking for High of 75 and when i clicked on it it started playing I So Hate Consequences. Which is actually one of my favorites. So now i'm listening to that. A whole paragraph on music, just what you wanted, right? Moving on.
Lately i've been neglecting my journal. The handwritten one, i mean. Well, i've neglected both, truth be told. But i remember at the beginning of summer i used to write about how i'd keep updated with that journal now that i have hardly anything else to do. Well, i lied. Big surprise there, right? And i've always favored typing things up on journals rather than writing by hand. I'm tons quicker at that. And i hardly ever go off on random subjects in my written journals because it takes long enough to just write about the basics of my life WITHOUT my random thoughts so usually the randomness comes here. I just leave out specific details on this. But that's fine with me, because at least i always know what i'm talking about. So, the thought on my mind.
Am i losing my grip on what's normal and what's not? Because when epic things happen to me i've always got two sides of myself arguing. One side says "oh my god, did you just see that? WHAT THE HELL?" and the other side is saying "shut up, it's nothing. No big deal at all". And these parts of myself have really been at each other's throats lately. So do other people have other levels of what's normal and what's not? Do you grow accustomed to weirdness when you live a weird life? I know there's still a perfectly sane part of me. But sometimes that sane part gets lost for a little while and it forgot to leave the darned trail of breadcrumbs to find it's way back.
I wonder about people a lot. Like what's going through their mind. And do they think about what goes through other people's minds too? Are we all just wondering what's on the next guys mind? why don't we all just spill our guts so the wondering can stop. Not going to happen.
I've been thinking also about the way we all act around different people. I mean, i know there's too major parts of me. The part that likes to go a little crazy and goof around to make people smile and the part that's dead serious about everything. Different people trigger different parts. Some people get both parts.
Sometimes i'm afraid to trust people.
Okay, i'm done for the day. Wasn't that insightful?
~krissy.






User Comments: [5] [add]
Meowh
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sat Jul 11, 2009 @ 05:10am
the last couple of paragraphs were totally the deepest thing i've heard for a while.


commentCommented on: Sat Jul 11, 2009 @ 06:02pm
Okay. So part of you still reacts like a "normal" person, the type that is freaked out by freaky things, I think it's healthy to keep this part because it tells you what's normal and what's not. Then you've got the other part of you telling you it's "no big deal". What I really think it's trying to tell you is to move on. You've seen a lot of weird stuff, and so you can't keep reacting the same way to it the rest of your life. You've got to change/learn. I think that's a good thing too. Um, to answer your question, your first instinct to what's normal is probably always right, but that doesn't mean that you're second part is wrong, it just means that you may be ready to get past it for the moment. If you need to freak out a bit though, do that. If not, then don't sweat it. You're not crazy. By the way, I liked your "breadcrumb" sentence, it was good. Hehehe.
Now, just in case your worried about actually having multiple voices in you head, I'm afflicted with that too. It comes and goes in phases. There's me. There's Celeste No. 2, who I banish quite often because she's the one who makes fun of me. Then there's Celeste No. 3 who tries to console me, and Celeste No. 4, who just wants to go crazy violent and dramatic. Yeah...
I don't know, I feel better when they all go away. And at the time being, they all are away. I think what helped me get rid of them was not thinking about them.
But hey, do you mean you actually hear the voices arguing in your head, or do you mean that you yourself can't make up your mind? Whoops...maybe the multiple personalities is just me.
Anyway, this is a long comment.
Cheers!



Cynthiasideways
Community Member
spaztastic-emo
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sat Jul 11, 2009 @ 10:53pm
that twas fascinating..made me think as well!!


commentCommented on: Sun Jul 12, 2009 @ 12:56am
Well, it's not some schitzophrenic-multiple-voices-i've-lost-it sort of thing. It's like, it's all me. But my mind changes so fast that it might as well be more than one voice. mm, can't really explain it? Not a mulitiple personality thing though.



fancy-painted-boats-
Community Member
Cynthiasideways
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sun Jul 12, 2009 @ 02:19am
Well, that's good!


User Comments: [5] [add]
 
 
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