Quotes by Clyde
I'm making this journal because Jeevas is awesome.
Just random things that Jeevas as managed to say that has made me laugh. c:
"Ravenclaws have no lives. They're snobbish, they study all the time, they're usually right but won't admit when they're not, and they heap up useless data constantly. Not to mention they're perfect. Which really pisses me off. Next we have the Hufflepuffs, who are gullible, honest, dim witted little slaves to everyone else and let the world walk over them, and will probably all become cub scout masters. Which really pisses me off. Slytherins care too much about material posessions, screw other people over for dreams that won't necessarily come true, and make friends with only the "right people". They're all a bunch of dicks. Which really pisses me off. Then we havfe the Gryffindors, who are glory seeking, rule breaking bastards who give no one a sense of privacy and get away with murder because they're just liked for being badboys. Nothing ever has consequences. They're like giant egocentric Ferris Buelers. And that really pisses me off."
"It's exactly how I see it! xD Every time I try to imagine a Hufflepuff, I get a yuppie in khaki shorts, a bandanna around his neck, a stupid forest ranger hat, and a rule book for camp survival. I hate that crap. xD"
"I'M GOING TO DIE BEING RAPED BY A CHICK WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES??!?!!!!"
"Hi. I'm here to repo your virginity"
"I like snails. xD"
"FL IHFLWEHFAW
COUPLE FROM HELL.
SHE'LL RIP YOU A NEW ONE WHILE HE WAILS IN THE BACKGROUND.
THE GOOD COP BAD COP WOULD RESULT IN HER SHOVING A FILING CABINET DOWN YOUR THROAT AND HIM REPENTING THE TIME HE STOLE A CANDYBAR FROM A MINI MART.
NO. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN."
"WUT?
BUT.....BUT......
BUT YOU NEVER WANT TO CUDDLE!
WHAT'S WRONG?! D8"
"WELL....YOU'RE A WHORE! D8"
"Now you guys have done it.
Now I'm seeing Aids whoring over a penguin with a p***s, and she's envious.
Oh. This is worse than Battle Royale. At least what was whored over in that was human. xD
Except for the doll. WTF was up with that, srsly? xD"
"Jeevas Crow 10:55 pm
(10:55:25 PM): None of my business. xD
(10:55:29 PM): Alright. Night Shgus. ^^
EbilMuffin660 10:55 pm
(10:55:35 PM): night jeeavs ~"
"YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU CAN SUCK MY ROTTING CORPSE."
"Jeevas Crow (10:33:46 PM): Least you're not associated with a creature who rips peoples balls off."
"Jeevas Crow (1:04:45 PM): "YEAH MAN. WAY BACK IN HTE OL' TOM PETTY EAR"."
Jeevas Crow (7:05:33 PM): BECAUSE YODELING TURNS ME ON.
Jeevas Crow (7:11:02 PM): CAT POLKA.
Jeevas Crow (7:11:05 PM): IS HOT.
Jeevas Crow (7:11:07 PM): AS HELL.
Jeevas Crow (11:18:18 PM): Oh yeah.
Jeevas Crow (11:18:22 PM): And let me reiterate that.
Jeevas Crow (11:18:32 PM): I'M THE ******** KOOL AID MAN OH YEAH. xD
Jeevas Crow (11:18:59 PM): "We must all be like the ******** Kool-Aid man in our own way."
ebilmuffin660 (11:19:06 PM): Oh yeah
Jeevas Crow (11:19:08 PM): "Welcome to the church of the Kool-Aid man."
Jeevas Crow (11:19:11 PM): "Oh yeah."
ebilmuffin660 (11:33:02 PM): THERE'S A RELIGION FOR THAT?
Jeevas Crow (11:33:14 PM): Rule number whatever the hell we're on.
Jeevas Crow (11:33:21 PM): If there's a porn of it, there's a religion for it. xD
Jeevas Crow (9:38:31 PM): AS IN "HEY WINDOWS. I JUSTSMURFED YOUR MOM."
ebilmuffin660 (9:38:39 PM): THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE
ebilmuffin660 (9:38:43 PM): IS IT A SEXUAL POSITION?
Jeevas Crow (9:38:45 PM): SMURF YOU.
ebilmuffin660 (11:07:45 PM): OVER 9000 BUTTOOONNNSSS
Jeevas Crow (11:07:49 PM): LOLOLOL.
Jeevas Crow (11:07:53 PM): I JUST LOST THE BUTTONS.
ebilmuffin660 (11:07:56 PM): LOLOLOLOLO
ebilmuffin660 (11:08:00 PM): ******** YOU xD
Jeevas Crow (11:08:08 PM): WESHOULD SAY THAT NOW. xD
Jeevas Crow (5:24:49 PM): ******** THIS.
Jeevas Crow (5:24:54 PM): IMMA HANG WITH HELEN KELLER.
ebilmuffin660 (8:57:59 PM): I'M SORRY I'M NOT CHEATING ON YOU
Jeevas Crow (8:58:07 PM): WHAAAAT?
Jeevas Crow (8:58:27 PM): YOU MIGHT HAVE SAID YOU'RE NOT CHEATING ON ME,
Jeevas Crow (8:58:54 PM): BUT ALL I HEARD WAS "SORRY I LEFT YOU FOR JOHNNY DEPP. AND BY JOHNNY DEPP I MEANT THE DND NERD NEXT DOOR. BECUASE HE'S EASY."
Jeevas Crow (5:23:53 PM): BEAVERTON.
Jeevas Crow (5:24:00 PM): I'D LIKE TO CREAM TEH s**t ******** THAT NAMED IT.
Jeevas Crow (5:24:14 PM): IT'S LIKE BEAVERTOWN.
ebilmuffin660 (5:24:15 PM): Is Beaverton not in Portland?
Jeevas Crow (5:24:19 PM): BUT NOT EVEN SPEELED RIGHT.
ebilmuffin660 (5:24:19 PM): Is Portland it's own state?
Jeevas Crow (5:24:25 PM): .............What?
Jeevas Crow (5:24:31 PM): Shugs, Portland is a city.
Jeevas Crow (5:24:35 PM): Beaverton is a city.
Jeevas Crow (5:24:43 PM): They....live near each other. xD
ebilmuffin660 (5:24:46 PM): ...oh.
"YOU'RE WRONG.
A DREAM IS A WISH YOUR HEART MAKES.
UNLESS YOU HAPPEN TO BE AT CRYSTAL LAKE.
THEN YOU'RE SCREWED."
ebilmuffin660 (10:08:30 PM): I'm still mildly shocked by what Whims did. xD
Jeevas Crow (10:08:43 PM): I'm still laughing my a** off. xD
ebilmuffin660 (10:08:59 PM): did you see it coming?
Jeevas Crow (10:09:49 PM): No.
Jeevas Crow (10:09:56 PM): I never dreamed I'd come home to this. xD
ebilmuffin660 (10:10:00 PM): LOLOLOL
Jeevas Crow (10:10:20 PM): I was like, "Whims will probably kill Nut. That's the worst that could happen."
Jeevas Crow (10:10:39 PM): Not, "Whims will think she's dead and then insult the ******** out of everyone and then she won't actually be dead."
ebilmuffin660 (10:10:49 PM): LOLOLOLOL
ebilmuffin660 (10:14:46 PM): You know what would be great?
ebilmuffin660 (10:14:57 PM): If she's up for execution a third night and by some miracle she's not killed
ebilmuffin660 (10:14:58 PM): Again xD
Jeevas Crow (10:15:11 PM): Oh god.
Jeevas Crow (10:15:17 PM): I'd probably kill myself,
Jeevas Crow (10:15:23 PM): "I'VE CREATED A MONSTER!"
ebilmuffin660 (10:15:31 PM): LOLOLOL
Jeevas Crow (10:15:39 PM): I mean, I purposely made her hard to kill.
Jeevas Crow (10:15:43 PM): But not THIS hard.
Jeevas Crow (10:15:47 PM): This is ridiculous. xD
Jeevas Crow (12:14:09 AM): Oh totally.
Jeevas Crow (12:14:15 AM): At first I was like,
Jeevas Crow (12:14:25 AM): "holy s**t, the Wicked Witch is dead."
Jeevas Crow (12:14:41 AM): And then I was like "holy s**t, I have six messages".
Jeevas Crow (12:14:54 AM): And then I was all, "holy s**t, two of these kids can't vote."
Jeevas Crow (12:15:10 AM): And then I was like, "OMFG IT KILLED SOMEONE ELSE!"
ebilmuffin660 (12:11:30 AM): We now know what Whims is like when she thinks she's about to be executed.
ebilmuffin660 (12:11:36 AM): And next time we should get her a muzzle.
Jeevas Crow (12:12:26 AM): Forget that.
Jeevas Crow (12:12:32 AM): Get her a ******** cattle prod. xD
Jeevas Crow (12:17:02 PM): LOLOL.
Jeevas Crow (12:17:04 PM): YOU'RE ********.
Jeevas Crow (12:17:08 PM): WOULD YOU LIKE SOME HELP?
Jeevas Crow (12:17:11 PM): I'M THE BLOB FISH.
Jeevas Crow (12:17:14 PM): YOU a*****e.
Jeevas Crow (12:21:02 PM): My role is now called Freedom Sock.
Jeevas Crow (12:24:19 PM): Time to make alliances.
Jeevas Crow (12:24:27 PM): "Trade roles? I'm a blob fish.
Jeevas Crow (12:24:31 PM): I throw socks.
Jeevas Crow (12:24:36 PM): Twice."
ebilmuffin660 (9:23:16 PM): That's what happens when you're a blob fish
Jeevas Crow (9:23:20 PM): LOLOL.
Jeevas Crow (9:23:22 PM): I KNOW.
Jeevas Crow (9:23:27 PM): IMMA SHUTMY HEAD IN THE OVEN.
[18:46] Jeevas Crow: "FUDGE DOESN'T FORGIVE PEOPLE."
[18:46] ebilmuffin660: "YOUR MOTHER DOES"
[18:47] Jeevas Crow: "MY MOTHER IS DEAD."
[18:47] Jeevas Crow: "Kai, that's never been clever."
[18:47] ebilmuffin660: "OH. RIGHT. HEART ATTACK WHEN I ******** HER."
[18:47] Jeevas Crow: "ACTUALLY, IT WAS THE SECOND ONE. WHEN SHE SAW ME ******** YOURS."
[18:48] ebilmuffin660: "I THINK YOU MISTOOK MY MOTHER FOR YOUR BROTHER."
[18:48] Jeevas Crow: "ACTUALLY, FOR A MOMENT THERE I WAS PRETTY SURE THAT GUY WAS YOU."
[18:48] ebilmuffin660: "IT WAS."
[18:48] Jeevas Crow: Lolololol oh god.
[18:48] Jeevas Crow: This just escalated to a new level of strange. xD
Others that make my luls.
"Yeah, most gaians like bi characters so they can get romantic with EVERY OTHER CHARACTER IN THE THREAD. DIDN'T YOU KNOW WRITING IS ALL ABOUT SEXUAL FANTASIES AND ROMANCE?!?!
SweetDreamer1442 (8:50:13 PM): LOL. I thought you were a guy though. -suspicious glare- At least thats what you told Dreamer...and tried to convince me.
ebilmuffin660 (8:50:21 PM): Yeah
ebilmuffin660 (8:50:23 PM): I'm gay.
SweetDreamer1442 (8:50:29 PM): FINALLY!
SweetDreamer1442 (8:50:44 PM): I have met so many guys with girl avvis that aren't gay...it's crazy.
SweetDreamer1442 (8:50:56 PM): At least you're normal (:
SweetDreamer1442 (6:54:27 PM): Necrophilia? I'm having a blonde moment and can't remember what that is.
ebilmuffin660 (6:54:35 PM): There's people ******** dead bodies. xD
SweetDreamer1442 (6:54:42 PM): HOLY s**t.
CrucifiedLullaby (6:48:15 PM): Sugar used Self Destruct
ebilmuffin660 (6:48:27 PM): It's super effective. xD
CrucifiedLullaby (6:48:40 PM): Fiend fainted!
CrucifiedLullaby (6:48:41 PM): ********.
ebilmuffin660 (6:49:13 PM): Sugar gets over 9000 in winnings.
theST0RMiscoming (7:55:55 PM): LOLOLOL i'm already like I WANT TO RUN A THINGER
theST0RMiscoming (7:55:56 PM): game
theST0RMiscoming (7:55:58 PM): thinger
ebilmuffin660 (7:56:08 PM): Lolololreally? xD
ebilmuffin660 (7:56:12 PM): HARRY POTTER THEMED?
ebilmuffin660 (7:56:14 PM): ...OMFG.
ebilmuffin660 (7:56:16 PM): BRAINGASM.
ebilmuffin660 (7:56:18 PM): DO WANT.
theST0RMiscoming (7:56:18 PM): yuh. but i know i wouldn't be creati OH MY GOD
theST0RMiscoming (7:56:26 PM): OH MY ******** c**t I NEED TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW
RandiTrigger (3:39:07 PM): It could be worse. You could be Elaine.
Community Member
I am so entirely honored. <3
still owes money to blockbuster
i put the f in fanfiction