A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. "My life is a mess," he says. "My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I'm as jittery as a cat." "Why don't you see a phychiatrist?" suggests the collie. "I can't," says the poodle. " I'm not allowed on the couch."