I find the following situation ironic, and if you read on, you'll see why.
Alright, so I have friend "A". Whenever I so much as utter the words suicide, he freaks out, and I can't blame him; I know he's only trying to help (again, I'm not suicidal). But today, we were talking, and I told Friend "A" that I finally found something to live for. Then, in all seriousness, he said, along these lines;
"What do you have to live for? Emotional abuse, your d**k-of-a-father, a world that sucks? (This last remark coming, I assume, from my previous statement that the world sucks) What do you have to live for?"
It was said quite bitterly, too, I must admit, and so I told him it was none of his business, for it's not. So he said, "you have nothing to live for."
Oh, the sweet irony. All the time he pushes me to see a greater theme of living, and then I finally say I've found it. His response? You lie.
I honestly wondered why I didn't get angry at him. I even tried to, but I couldn't. I don't know why, because I should be pissed off right now. And if he's given up on me, what is the point. Is my reason really worth it. Yet I feel not the anger I should, just... indifference.
But I'll be damned if ones' words are enough to twist my outlook, as bleak as it may be. But it is an outlook formed of careful observation, I can assure.
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