I know I love him very much. I know that more then I know anything at all. I never really tell him my feelings when I know I should. I dont know why I dont. I wish I did. Maybe I am just afraid to show my emotions really.. But he makes them come out when I dont want them to, But I am glad they do. I do believe I am a better person then I used to be. He is the cause of that. Before I used to be cold hearted, Cruel and very hateful to basicaly everyone. I never showed any of my emotions except some fake smiles and a few laughs here and there. Now I laugh alot and smile. I even show I am happy.. But I only show them when I am with my friends some anyways and my cousin Alyshia. I show them alot more when I can be with him. Which now isn't really alot anymore. It is true dont like to be hurt.. But I know he wont do that to me...
He makes me smile at the slightest thing. He makes me smile and tear when he says, " I love you. "
When he says the most random things I can't help but laugh. He makes me blush especially when he decides he want to put my picture up for I dunno who to see.. and then he has to go and say I am pretty... even though I don't think I am.. But he seems to think so, aswell as others, But they don't count like he does.
I.. all in honesty, Really and truly do want to be with him for aslong as I can. I mean yeah sure I can be with him now.. But.. I wan't to be able to hold him, and touch him, kiss him goodnight or anyother time I can forever. But I can't... But yes I can last till I can be able to do that.. If he wanted me to that is.
Some people do say we aren't going to last.. and here is why.
They says we argue too much, we aren't ever going to be with each other forever, We aren't labled the same.
I actually really do not care what they have to say. Here's what I know..
We may argue alot.. but we haven't truly argued as much as you would like us to. The arguments we have are silly.. I don't like them yes but we all have our little times.
I may not get the chance to be with him forever.. I would still love to yes, but least I can be with him until I can't anymore.
Does it really matter if we aren't labled the same? I do not think it matters... I would change for him if I needed to. I may not want to but if he wanted me to I would. But he says, " I don't want you to change.. I love you just the way you are. " and the same goes for me.. I fell inlove with him, for who he is not for I want him to be.. I love him just the way he is and if he was anyone else I wouldn't be happy the way I am, or love them the way I love him.
I do cry myself to sleep at night and when I do talk to him whether it be on the phone or online. I actually couldn't tell him I did.
Here's why...
I dont know if he would be saddened or not.. Or if he would be dissapointed in me.. I just couldnt have that.. so I couldnt tell him..
Why I cry
I cant be with him when I want to... I miss him very much and I just start to cry because of that.. It's not fair.. Everyone else can and we can't.
I was asked If I could spend the last 5 minutes with two people on earth before I died.. I just smiled and whiped a few tears that wanted to fall away and answered, " Alex and Alyshia. "
I... just dunno.. I do get tired of crying.. Heh, I try not to do it anymore... I am recovering!
Welll..... I hope you like my talk on Him.
If you do not know who Him is...
It's Alex... my Hubby. I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, and I cant believe I have someone like him in my life and I dont ever want to loose him..
I love him more than anything.. and everything...
I love you Alex..
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Never let anyone dull your rainbow.
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User Comments: [13]