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T _ T For you...
I know I love him very much. I know that more then I know anything at all. I never really tell him my feelings when I know I should. I dont know why I dont. I wish I did. Maybe I am just afraid to show my emotions really.. But he makes them come out when I dont want them to, But I am glad they do. I do believe I am a better person then I used to be. He is the cause of that. Before I used to be cold hearted, Cruel and very hateful to basicaly everyone. I never showed any of my emotions except some fake smiles and a few laughs here and there. Now I laugh alot and smile. I even show I am happy.. But I only show them when I am with my friends some anyways and my cousin Alyshia. I show them alot more when I can be with him. Which now isn't really alot anymore. It is true dont like to be hurt.. But I know he wont do that to me...
He makes me smile at the slightest thing. He makes me smile and tear when he says, " I love you. "
When he says the most random things I can't help but laugh. He makes me blush especially when he decides he want to put my picture up for I dunno who to see.. and then he has to go and say I am pretty... even though I don't think I am.. But he seems to think so, aswell as others, But they don't count like he does.

I.. all in honesty, Really and truly do want to be with him for aslong as I can. I mean yeah sure I can be with him now.. But.. I wan't to be able to hold him, and touch him, kiss him goodnight or anyother time I can forever. But I can't... But yes I can last till I can be able to do that.. If he wanted me to that is.

Some people do say we aren't going to last.. and here is why.

They says we argue too much, we aren't ever going to be with each other forever, We aren't labled the same.
I actually really do not care what they have to say. Here's what I know..

We may argue alot.. but we haven't truly argued as much as you would like us to. The arguments we have are silly.. I don't like them yes but we all have our little times.
I may not get the chance to be with him forever.. I would still love to yes, but least I can be with him until I can't anymore.
Does it really matter if we aren't labled the same? I do not think it matters... I would change for him if I needed to. I may not want to but if he wanted me to I would. But he says, " I don't want you to change.. I love you just the way you are. " and the same goes for me.. I fell inlove with him, for who he is not for I want him to be.. I love him just the way he is and if he was anyone else I wouldn't be happy the way I am, or love them the way I love him.

I do cry myself to sleep at night and when I do talk to him whether it be on the phone or online. I actually couldn't tell him I did.
Here's why...
I dont know if he would be saddened or not.. Or if he would be dissapointed in me.. I just couldnt have that.. so I couldnt tell him..

Why I cry

I cant be with him when I want to... I miss him very much and I just start to cry because of that.. It's not fair.. Everyone else can and we can't.
I was asked If I could spend the last 5 minutes with two people on earth before I died.. I just smiled and whiped a few tears that wanted to fall away and answered, " Alex and Alyshia. "
I... just dunno.. I do get tired of crying.. Heh, I try not to do it anymore... I am recovering!

Welll..... I hope you like my talk on Him.
If you do not know who Him is...
It's Alex... my Hubby. I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, and I cant believe I have someone like him in my life and I dont ever want to loose him..

I love him more than anything.. and everything...

I love you Alex..


ExxieDollie
Community Member
  • [03/03/11 03:05am]
  • [03/03/11 02:37am]
  • [09/28/06 01:27am]
  • [11/14/05 10:17am]
  • [10/27/05 06:20am]
  • [10/27/05 05:15am]
  • [10/19/05 03:58pm]
  • [10/15/05 08:58pm]
  • [09/26/05 08:14am]
  • [09/26/05 06:45am]




  • User Comments: [13]
    Olaff
    Community Member





    Mon Nov 14, 2005 @ 10:39am


    cry I don't even know what to say.. I feel so happy. Heh You are so great, there isn't a word for you even..
    I do want to be yours forever and ever and ever. I promise I'll always be there for you.

    I love you so much, more then anything anyone or whatever.. I love you the most.
    Alex.


    bonepurr
    Community Member





    Tue Nov 15, 2005 @ 01:14am


    Awww!!!!!!! Ain't that sweet!!!
    Woo I'm included!! She lovies Alex forevers and evers!!!!
    And if you retards don't like that then screw off and let them be!

    That made my eyes teary..


    Olaff
    Community Member





    Tue Nov 15, 2005 @ 08:13am


    *Huggles Alyshie* Thank you aswell... You're both the greatest people I have ever met. I am so lucky to know you both and even luckier to have Tamera. Heh You guys are the greatest.

    It made me teary aswell


    ExxieDollie
    Community Member





    Tue Nov 15, 2005 @ 08:38am


    Eh heh heh heh.....

    sweatdrop

    I dunno if I will right one of those again... so many emotions and feelings eek


    Thanks peoples. ^_^

    Awww that made you guys all teary?

    Aww, so cute. 3nodding


    Olaff
    Community Member





    Tue Nov 15, 2005 @ 08:50pm


    Awww why not write one again?? It was good to read. Well I liked it anyways lol

    Yeas so it did.. lol Teary peoples everywhere


    ExxieDollie
    Community Member





    Wed Nov 16, 2005 @ 06:05am


    Heh, I might write one again.
    Lol, glad you liked it. ^_^

    Yeaps.. cute teary people.... well.. not all of em.


    Olaff
    Community Member





    Wed Nov 16, 2005 @ 09:25am


    How could me not like? It was so sweet of you to write that.. I owes ya much kisses and hugs hehe.

    Which peoples aren't cute when teary?


    ExxieDollie
    Community Member





    Wed Nov 16, 2005 @ 11:00am


    I don't know why you would not like it okay...
    Yeah you do.

    Lotta people aren't cute when they teary.


    Olaff
    Community Member





    Fri Nov 18, 2005 @ 12:46am


    Yea.. I will give you all the hugs and kisses I can always.

    And yes, alot of people aren't cute when they are teary.. but it makes people happy when others cry out of happiness.

    I want you to know I really really love you more then anything. I know I tell you alot but I feel sometimes I need to tell you when I really feel it. I really think you and I will be together forever, I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't believe anyone in the world could make me feel like you can. You make the worst things go away, you make me smile whenever you say something that you feel about us, you make me blush when you say you love me and most of all you make me feel undiscribably happy inside when I think about you. I really would give anything to be with you, like you said yea we are together in a way.. but I too want to hold you and touch you and kiss you. I want to be with you forever, I know that I'll be yours forever aswell. You will always have a place with me, no matter what happens to you or us. I will love you and care for you forever, So I will be here for you whenever you need someone because you're there for me when I need help.

    I doubt you will see what I have written here.. because there are a few entries after this one, but if you do see it. Never forget what I have said here, because I will always feel like this about you.

    I love you.. I dont know anyother way to say it. I really truly do love you though
    Alex.


    ExxieDollie
    Community Member





    Fri Nov 18, 2005 @ 05:55pm


    cry That made me cry cry

    Heh, Should have looked back her more often then..

    I never would have thought that I could make you do all of those things. But I am happy I know this now. I am glad you think all of these things you have mentioned. I would be very happy for us to be together forever. I dont want anything else anymore except for that. I like to think you dont want to be with anyone else, and I do believe you when you say you dont.
    I like making everything thats wrong better especially if its something wrong with you, If I cannot make that happen I aint being me. Heh, I can make you smile.. Adorable..
    Aww.. but its cute when you blush.. Least I get thoughted about.. Yaysness.. and I can make you happy.. ^_^
    I wish you could do all of that to.. sad we cant even touch.. meh.. lame..
    I am very happy to know that I will always have a place with you.. Heh.
    I am glad I can talk to you when I need someone.

    Lovey you Hubby soooo much.


    Olaff
    Community Member





    Sat Nov 19, 2005 @ 05:33am


    heh.. I sorry you cried.. I had to tell you that though. Bleh I am crying now.. I been crying so much today, I miss you more then anything. I hurt inside my heart I guess... from missing you, I don't like saying what I want so much.. but here goes.. I want to spend this weekend with you.. so yea I want you to call me tonight and for us to talk aslong as we can throughout my night time, then hopefully aslong as we ca through your night time.. if you want to.. I dont want to make you do it, but I wanted to tell you what I want. Well yea looking back is good sometimes.. heh I still do it in my old journal to look back to when we first started dating, and see how far we have come. Well yes.. You can make me do alot of things, feel alot of things and think alot of things too. I still and always will believe that you and I will be together, I cannot see anything stopping us ever... I know I would not let something stop me from being with you. I could never let you go just like that.. it would be like throwing my life away, throwing away everything Ive ever wanted all at once. I am really happy you believe that.. I choose to believe you are the same and when you tell me that, I feel like there is someone out there who does care about me, which is you... and I wouldn't wany anyone else to care for me like you do. I hopes you like makin me better.. Because sometimes I need it, and no one is there to help me until I can talk to you.. then I start to feel better again. Well you can do alot of things to me.. I dont always say when I feel them but you make me feel alot of things. But most of all.. yes you make me happy. yea I know its lame hunny.. but oneday we can touch oneanother.. and do anything together. So it'll be okay I thinks.. heh yea.. well i want you to feel loved your whole life. Because me will always love you your whole life. hehe.. very much. So you are always welcome to be where ever I may be.. I'd prefer to have you with me. Awww... heh I really hopes I can be your hubby.. I love you soooooo much aswell. I will make sure you know that everyday.


    ExxieDollie
    Community Member





    Sat Nov 19, 2005 @ 07:47am


    I know. I hate it when you cry, especially if it is sad tears. I really don't want you to hurt anymore.. Makes me feel sad and I cant do anything about it. I like knowing what you want. Atleast I can try to give you what you want since I cant do much of the other things. I would love to spend this weekend with you. I can call you yes. I will argue for me to stay home.. Hopefully I can.

    Aww. Thats cudorable. Yep we have come along ways it seems.. Hope it will be longer aswell.

    Aww... But they are good things I do hope. That I make you think, and feel and do things. Yep.. I hope that nothing will ever stop us. I would be very saddened that I could not have what is mine. Heh.. I feel so speckaled.. I will not be leaved, and you not going to let me go. Your life? What you talking about...
    Yes. I do care alot about you, and I am happy you know that and I do hope you believe me when i do say that. And please stop thinking I dont. I would think no one could.. Probably not.. Me care is hard to beat.. I like to think so anywas lol.
    Yes I do like making you better. Yeah, I try to make you better anyway I can.. But if I cant I think someone might be able to help you. Yay! I can make someone happy. Yeah.. I just wish that my wish would come true so we could be able to everything together.. meh..
    Aww, I hoep you would wanna love me my whole life.. make me very speckaled indeed. If you wanted me to be with you whereever you may be I would be happy to go.. But maybe you might not wanna do that.. cause you would want some alone time 3nodding

    Awwwwww. You really do? So this means I can call you my hubby now? ^_^
    Heh.. I love you sooooooo very very very much
    Glad you will do that.. and so I will aswell..


    Olaff
    Community Member





    Sat Nov 19, 2005 @ 08:12am


    Yea.. I will try not to cry anymore.. I dont like being sad.. I like being happy. yea.. and I dont want you to hurt either Tamera..
    You do stuff about it.. you might not realise but you make it go away.
    Yays.. I hope you can, I think this may very well be a great weekend.

    heh well yea I think we have come very far, of course itll be longer baby.. nothing going to stop it.

    yes yes yes 3nodding very very good things. Awww you will have what is yours.. dont gota worry about that. No never leaved.. and Hmm No I wont let you go either.. that be in the sense of me holding you, I will hold you as often as I can, if you dont mind me doing that. Yes my life.. you may say I should centre it around other things.. but my life is centred around you. Yes I know your care is hard to beat.. I am sorry sometimes I think you dont care, but I dont really mean that.. heh I know I am cared for very much.
    you always make me happy hunny.. heh not possible for you to not make me happy when you try to. yea I wish your wish could come true.. so much I would love it. I wish we could do stuff togheter.. anything. Of course I wanna love you your whole life.. heh Id be privlidged to be yours for your whole life. bleh... no.. I want to be with you always.. please understand that. I dont wanna be alone.

    yes.. heh. I know I ask about it sometimes and I even say sometimes that I might want to oneday.. but i wanna be honest and tell you that I do wanna marry you.. heh.
    Awww so much lovey.. heh I lovey you verrrrrrrrryyy verrrrrryyy much .. more then anything and anyone.
    aww thanks you baby.. I think youll make me feel loved all the time


    User Comments: [13]
     
     
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