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Okay I was in the Darwin thing and found this one story HILARIOUS! I was crying from laughing so hard.
This is by "Lunarshinobi" Not me.
Lunarshinobi's post went like this.
Have any of you ever gotten that call about how your car warranty is going out, whether or not you actually have a car?
The following is a real conversation.
*ring*
Me: *picks up phone*
Phone: *gives the message about her car warranty running out*
Me: stare ... you know what. *presses a number*
Phone: Hello, are you interested in extending your car warranty?
Me: yes!
Phone: Alright, we need some information from you-
Me: Welcome to Taco Bell, Can I take your order?
Phone: what?
Me: I Like Tacos! *starting singing the doom song*
Phone: Um, alright, do you think we can have your information?
Me: I iz a girl!
Phone:.... um, Can we know your-
Me: I think.
Phone: Excuse me?
Me: I think I'm a girl. I'm not sure. Do girls have beewwwbbss?
Phone:.....
Me: I do. Does that make me a girl.
Phone: Is there anyone else in the household.
Me: Nope. Just me and Mike.
Phone: Can I speak to Mike?
Me: Mike is a shoe.
Phone: ....
Me: Mike likes mac n' cheese.
Phone: -click-
I got called ten minutes later by the same thing...
Phone: Hello, are you interested in extending your car warranty?
Me:Sorry, I'm not a guy.
Phone: um, what?
Me: oh... Well. good.
Phone: Well-
Me: Yes sir, for just the low price of 9.95 I can give you these pills that will, inhance, your love life.
Phone: ...Excuse me, What?
Me:... Well, you're selling something useless, aren't you? I mean, I don't even have a car. At least I'm selling something you need.
Phone: I don't need, pills.
Me: Hi! I'd like a large pizza with extra pepperoni, some olives, and extra cheese. Do you have the garlic sauce.
Phone: Can I speak to an adult.
Me: What's wrong with a teenager? Are you being discriminatory towards my age? How dare you!
Phone: What? No, I'm not, Im just trying to get your information so I can do my job.
Me: So am I! I have 12 cases of these weirdo pills that trick dumb men into thinking that it makes them more, appealing, and you insulting my age is not helping!
Phone: I don't care about your age!
Me: Ew, you *****!
Phone: Wait, what?!
Me: *hangs up*
They called me again XD
Another conversation:
Me: *presses button*
Person: Hello--
Me: THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME!
Person: E-
Me: PEANUTS!
Person: Um, ma'am, Should we call back another time?
Me: Oh, no. I'm just engaging in a bit of roleplay.
Person: Oh. well, it seems your car warranty-
Me: Je ne parles pas anglais.
Person: Excuse me?
Me: Je ne parle pas anglais.
Person: Ma'am, I dont understand, Can you please speak English?
Me: I don't speak english.
Person: But you were just screaming in english..
Me: I told you, that was just a bit of roleplay. The real me doesn't speak english.
Person: *silence*
Me: Hold on honey! I'm talking with a car warranty guy! No I will not put on the leather! Get that off! Ew!
Person: *hangs up*
Me: *laughing my a** off*
 Absolute_Insanity · Sat Feb 14, 2009 @ 01:34am · 1 Comments |
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