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innocence and angel wings
part 7
[Roxane's POV]
"Renae, why don't you give Rachael a tour of the house while Jason and I have a little chat?" I asked, forcing myself to smile, even though I knew what I was about to have to do wasn't going to be pleasant. "'Kay," she replied and I watched as she and Rachael went upstairs. I waited until they were out of sight, and didn't speak until I was sure they were out of hearing range as well. Once I was sure they couldn't hear us, I turned to look at Jason. I let out a sigh. "So you told Rachael I was dead, did you? Why would you do that? Can you imagine what must have been going through that poor girl's mind, when she finds not only is her mother alive, but is here in town, along with a twin sister she never knew she had?!" I watched as his expression changed from anger to shock then back to anger again. "And just what kinds of reasons did you give Renae as to why her father was nowhere to be found, huh? What did you expect me to tell her? That you didn't want her?" I felt my own anger rising, and struggled to keep my tone even as I spoke. "Of course I wanted her. I wanted us to be a family, Jason. But, you know what, Jason? You ruined that when you cheated on me. And while I was pregnant with the girls, no less!" I nearly shouted the words at him. I heard him sigh. "It was a one-time thing, Roxi," he said, using the nickname he'd given me back when we were still dating. "Oh don't you 'Roxi' me! One time is all it takes, Jason. And you can never be sure you'll stop after that one time. I didn't want the girls to have to grow up in that kind of environment." I was beyond angry now. I was seething with rage, fighting to control it, because I didn't want the girls to hear this. "Why don't we start over, Roxi? Try to make this work, for Rachael? And for Renae?" I had known he'd try that one. I had also noted the smell of alcohol on him when we first met at the girls' school. As well as the nasty bruise on Rachael's neck. "Why? So you can beat on Renae, too?" I said through clenched teeth. His face was frozen in shock. "What?!" "Oh don't you play dumb with me. I smelled the alcohol on you. And I saw the nasty bruise on Rachael's neck. What the hell did you do? Try to strangle the child? You did, didn't you?!" He stood there, staring at me as if I were speaking in some foreign language he couldn't understand. "Jason? Answer me. Did you try to strangle her?" I pressed, trying to get an answer out of him. I wanted so badly to hear him deny it, and be telling me the truth. But I also knew that wasn't possible. I could tell Rachael was scared to be around him, just by watching her reactions to him this afternoon. "Well?" I was running out of patience now. "Okay, okay. I admit it. I was stupid. Yes, I did it. And you have no idea just how much I regret it, Roxi," he spoke finally, hanging his head in shame. Or pretending to. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself before I spoke again. "Damn it, Jason," I groaned. "I knew it. I knew from the beginning the agreement was a bad idea. And yet I held on to the hope that it wouldn't be. That I could trust you to raise Rachael right. I now understand that I was clearly foolish. Foolish for putting my faith in a hope that, from the start, was obviously non-existant. But what I don't understand, is why. Why would you be so stupid? Do you realize you could be jeapordizing her life like this? I thought you loved Rachael, Jason. After all, you promised me you'd look after her and raise her right. Apparently, we're both just a couple of fools." He let out a sigh. "Roxi..." he began. I raised a hand to signal to him not to speak. He, surprisingly, obeyed. "I need to think for a few minutes," I told him, holding my now throbbing head. "Sure, sure. Whatever you need. Take your time," he said back, a hint of sarcasm lacing his words. I glared at him then turned and went upstairs to my bedroom. On the way, I overheard part of the girls' conversation. "Yeah, I know. Doesn't seem like anyone notices, though," I heard Rachael say. I started to go see what they were talking about until I heard Renae say, "Yeah. That or they just don't care." I couldn't take anymore. I went to my room and slammed the door, letting myself slide against it to the floor, holding my head, fighting the oncoming tears.





 
 
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