Ay me. It has been more than two years now since I last posted in this journal, now covered with dust (and wait a minute...is that a cobweb?), which gently brush aside with a breath or two. Some writer I turn out to be, but hm, no one is perfect. Don't try to be.
Well. It's 2009 now. A new start, perhaps? Another chance fueled by the number of days and months one can overcome in a year? Maybe. As for me, I do see it as a time of change. Even as I speak, I feel certain changes are coming, some that I was already foretold before the Baby New Year woke up and was welcomed into this world. I know, for a fact that the people that I hold dear to me, I will not be able to hold much longer. It is not my choice, but theirs, not a bad way as you can assume. They have their own lives to map out, new paths to create, and new mistakes that need to be made in order to grow. I know that because of this, I will not be able to hold on to them, for they will be too far for me to reach. Even though I will lose them physically, I hope that they think of me, remember me as I will remember them. A few won't, maybe...But the choice is theirs. This is nothing new to me; just another repeat of history.
I am not sure what is in store for me. I told myself to be more open, to go out there and be spontaneous. But the cautious side of me, still to this day, lurks within me. I hope to meet someone that can make that side of me, disappear for awhile. That way, I won't have to worry what other people think or want. I want to do something for myself without having the responsibility of caring for another. Sounds selfish...but it is the truth.
Well enough of this ranting. A new year, a new start. I suppose my first resolution would be to keep up with this journal, without the form of another cobweb. Another would be to take every day as my last. I feel for some reason that we're at a peak of something that can change the face of history. I am not sure if this is the same feeling many people had before, like in the times of the World Wars or the Great Depression. If so, I do have my reasons and am not hesitant on stating them. Heh, just not right now. I can't seem to put them into clearer words...
Well, fellow reader. I suppose I can not call this an encore, for the performance is entirely different. But still, it's a performance regardless. Thank you for taking the time to read. Till the next time we meet.
Good day to you,
Lai
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Pandora's Box
"It was her curiousity that opened and released the chaos of evil..." Thoughts, dreams, and the daily life of this soul.
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Akio Lailie
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