|
|
|
Little Billy wakes up in the middle of the night and hears strange sounds coming from his parents' bedroom. He sneaks up and nudges open the door, and sure enough, Mom's got her legs wide open, in the air and Dad is plowing her like there's no tomorrow. Billy sees this, gasps and runs away.
Dad just chuckles, but Mom slaps him and says "Dear, you'd better go and talk to Billy, I'm afraid we've upset him!"
Dad walks down the hall to Billy's room, and nobody's there. So he walks further down the hall and hears strange noises from the guest room. So he sneaks up and nudges the door open to find little Billy pumping away, ******** his grandmother hard in the a**.
Dad shouts "Billy! What the hell is wrong with you!"
Billy looks over his shoulder and replies "Yeah, it's not so funny when it's YOUR mom, is it?"
Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting.
He travelled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it.
Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.
The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex."
After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the latter alternative. So the black bear had his way with Frank.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder.
This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.
The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have "rough sex."
Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Frank.
Although he survived, it took several months before Frank fully recovered.
Now Frank was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it.
He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on is shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.
The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. The side of his face is bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, "What in the world happened to you, buddy?"
The guy says "Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I called her a two-bit whore."
"Yeah," says the bartender. "What did she do?"
"She hit me with her bag of quarters!"
Dear Sir,
Your application to join our online dating agency has been rejected.
One of the questions we asked on the application was: 'What do you like most in a woman?'
'My d**k' is not an appropriate answer. Thank you for your interest
What's worse than silicone tits?
A cardboard box.
BLONDE JOKES What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Nothing; they've never met.
What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? It's hard to open the legs on an ironing board.
What makes blondes so attractive? Something in the air; their legs.
Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? Ankle rests.
Why don't blonde's wear skirts in the winter? They don't want chapped lips.
Why do blondes wear fur-lined underwear? To keep their ankles warm.
Teknotronic OverDrive · Sun Dec 21, 2008 @ 06:15pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|