9:01 at night right now, I've been staying over at my cousins house to baby-sit his puppy and his sisters' two begals whiles they went to travel from here to see their parents. It's quiet here, I'm finally actually in a place by myself for once in a long time and although I thought I would enjoy the peace which I somewhat do it gives me little comfort in the thought of being somewhere so very vacant and empty.
I'm still recovering from a broken pinkie toe and trying to face mental demons from my past. Even now as the days go by I feel myself being drawn closer and closer to my own thoughts of the past.
How my own mother could have forsaken me so when I needed her the most, left behind for her boyfriend whom was unworthy. Although I have confronted him I still do not trust him at all, he will always be the sluggish child molester I learned him to be. In a way more than one I have somewhat healed these gaping wounds of the past, ever present like ghosts that haunt me even in the present.
Tonight I am lead to wonder if my mother has been accepting to see the things he has done, there are things I even know about that he is sure that I don't. Like many times he thought me to be asleep, however I was only too afraid to show that I was awake, so I remained fake sleeping.
Even to this day I curse my own cowardice.
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Exodus Black
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