The first time I met my boyfriend I was nervous, in many ways you could say that I was scared. I had all the symptoms of puppy dog love: The quivery knees, the pounding heart, and sweet and sour feeling of nausea.
I still remember our first kiss, probably not much more than a peck, but still it was as if someone had shot a firework right into my skull.
Like everyone, I'm far from perfect. I have my own skeletons in my closet, and my own problems.
Every boyfriend I had, had only lasted up to four weeks before it seemed they would get bored or I would. Why try to make something work if the heart wasn't in it anyways right? Maybe I was young and stupid, or maybe it was my way of coping with reality.
After two years going on three with the same man whom I've been faithfully dating I start to wonder when the temporary thoughts of dating him became rooted and permanent. We've fought like no other as couples will and with each fight we've also seemed to triumph. When does a relationship become a test of love? When you realize you might have to toss away your pride to submit to the fact you'd rather love them than hate them?
Permanent relationships are the ones you have to keep on building at, you never truly reach the top of the house.
Temporary are the relationships that you give up, when things get tough; better to run away than to confront what could have been.
Maybe I'm tired, I've been up for a few days now because of my own worries and my own problems. So I apologize if my thinking is not all that clear.
I love him, and although the obstacles get greater, as long as he's willing to meet me half-ways I am willing to meet him as well.
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Exodus Black
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