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a really good indicator of how much a fandom sucks is the merchandise... if 90% of it looks like s**t and makes you smack your face in sheer disgust you're dealing with a shitactular fandom. let's take a look at some of the most pathetic and fulgy twilight crap that would make any self disrespecting twitard need a change of panties. most of it is not surprisingly from hot topic. you may want to play south park's burning down hot topic song in the background while you look...


first we have... the i love boys who sparkle pin

when you realize how stupid twilight is you can use it to attempt to slit your wrists i suppose. shouldn't it be "i love boys that sparkle"? i'm not a grammar nazi but "boys who sparkle" looks retarded to me.



next we have the fugly figurine

obviously this thing was sculpted in three minutes or less by a third grade art class. most twitards are probably too blinded from all the sparkling of their peers to see it looks nothing like their beloved actor robert.




and now for all those ugly bella wannabes who can't get laid we have the edward pillow

maybe once they realize trying to find a sparkely vampire boyfriend is the most retarded thing ever they can use it to smother themselves.




because no list is complete with out child abuse... i present the toddler tee!

take comfort in the fact that most fans are too hideous to get laid and reproduce...




finally, the most repulsive and ridiculous item ever
dun dun DUN!!!!!!!!!!
EDWARD GLITTER!

applying to your wang in attempt to get a sparkle peen may cause burning and chunky discharge.




if you have any other crappy merchandise please post it in a comment! if you actually like twilight and want to flame me go right ahead but do so in full realization that i think you're a moron and won't listen to a thing you say.