My heart is fluttering. Just hearing you say that makes me so..deeply flushed. I feel like laying in a field of lilies and daisies and dandelions. You make me feel so alive.
Lately I've been slacking in my work. To be honest, I don't know why. After the first quarter ended, I just..shut down. It's like I couldn't take the pressure of passing anymore. Pathetic, I know, but I'll get back on my feet somehow.
We now have 'projects' to complete in German. How lame. I could barely keep up with last quarters simpler assignments! Jesus Christ, this is frustrating.
In other news, I ended up watching most of the Presidential Debate last night. My dad helpfully explained the plans Obama had, versus the ideas that McCain held. I really don't want Obama for president. No, I'm not racist. I think any other half African American, half Muslim man could do it, but Obama's strategy on keeping us out of the next Great Depression are slim to none. Why am I even talking about politics? D:
Samantha hasn't really seemed to notice that I've missed her. Her presence seems so far away now. I recently noticed all of these new pictures on her myspace of a party she had, that she hadn't even thought of inviting me to. Why am I sad? Because they were with her newer friends. Like Jenna and John. I am jealous. I will accept this, but I won't like it. It's like our friendship is on hold for a moment.
Sometimes, I feel as if my father's promise to move to New Zealand if Obama somehow wins presidency is a good thing. Maybe I don't want to stick around to see my friendships fall out of reach. I don't think I'll like it very much at first, because lately I've started to realize that my friendship with Elizabeth is grand and I love her like a sister, dearly. But..I can't stand Alabama. I wish I lived up north, with people I could actually associate my interests with. Oh, whatever. Why am I thinking about this now?
School won't get easier, and Samantha won't notice. It's 6:01 am in the morning, and I really hope I don't fall asleep in first block like I almost did yesterday. That was odd. Why am I so tired lately? I can barely remember my dreams as of late, just barely. They aren't bad dreams, mainly just awkward ones that have some sort of mixed meaning.
I want to know what you're ill with. I want to know that it could be better, somehow. That wouldn't cause you to suffer. To heal you. I want to heal you. I love you.
P.S. - If you left me now, I'd be crushed. Just give me a sign that you won't be gone for too long. I love you so damn much!
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Realizations.
Right-o. You caught me. No, put down that tape-recorder! NO! DOWN, BOY! DOWN!
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