Happiness is a whisper away
just come with me and i'll take you today.
Take my hand,hold on tight
get ready for this wonderful ride.
The place has a scent of a red rose
sweet to the touch of your nose.
It looks like peace mixed with joy,with a sprinkle of serenity too.
Come with me to this paradise and i will show you.
This place has no gold,no money,not for people with greed.
This place has no drama which is what any person needs.
Just take my hand and I'll lead you there.
All you have to do is trust me.
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This is about as short as my poums get! lol
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My(Not So)Creative mind
This just has stuff in it that i write...its mostly emo-ish and retarded love-ish type poums...not exactly about anyone i know....and if u like what u read comment...not like anyone cares about my crappy writing...
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Knit Purl Knit Community Member 
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User Comments: [2] [add]
Community Member
1.) Add a space after your commas.
2.) Don't put commas and periods at the end of each line. Looks tacky. xD
3.) Add "..." after the last line just for emphasis
4.) Sometimes rhyming ruins the meaning of the poem, so you don't have to rhyme EVERYTHING
5.) Title suggestion: Utopia - basically a world of perfection (without war and social status and stuffs)
Somehow I wrote something like this when I was in 6th grade. Lol. I guess I was happy then. But yeah. All around not too bad. Still nothing like what I would write but not bad. biggrin