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OK. I don't know why this is important to me, but for some reason, it is. I've only physically had this dream once, while at Shadow's, the exact date's unknown. Before I write this, you need to know how this has affected me. It bugs the crap out of me because no matter how much I think about it, I always come up with the same result: nothing. Maybe I'm over thinking this, I'll admit that.....but I don't care. Now whether you're subscribed {savemefromthedark}, read this every so often {Zuki}, or even just happen to glance in here once in a blue moon {Shadow}, try not to criticise me for this.......at least not out loud. I'm only putting this in here because I'm hoping typing it will help filter it from my thoughts......
I'm in some type of factory; I can tell this because of the round things emitting smoke in the back left-hand corner of the room. I can feel Shadow's hand holding my own. I know Sophia's in his other arm and Phantom and the rest of his family {the ones that live with him} are on his other side. Suddenly, their chattering stops and I look over: they're gone. Everyone except Shadow, Phantom, Sophia and myself has just vanished. I look back over to my left, and there it is. The best way to describe it, is a big box with clear walls that only go up to my shin. There's water running through it from a grate that's barely visible, but I notice it. I notice everything. Everything in this room gives off a vibe; a pulse even, yet I'm the only one that can feel it. I look back to Shadow, and he smiles at me; completely oblivious to what's about to happen. I smile back, as if nothing is wrong. The water flowing out of the box falls into a bigger one, this one the same height, but here's the difference. The first one is right there, next to our feet, we could bend down and touch the water if we wanted to. The other box is so far below us, you'd have to walk down a narrow flight of stairs to get to it. Why narrow, and not just any stairs? Because I'm looking at the staircase. I'd barely fit between the railings if I tried to walk down them. Oh! Another difference between the boxes: In the second one, there's gears and stuff about a foot tall.....very dangerous. I shudder at the sight of them, but I don't have time to look back at Shadow, Phantom, and Sophia before it happens. The pulse of the room stops. Everything stops moving, the smoke stops where it is in the air {it doesn't vanish, but it doesn't move either}. I hear Shadow laugh about something Phantom says and there it is: the feeling of complete and utter peace. I'm the calmest I've ever been. The thought crosses my mind. "I have to die, so my daughter will live" Now, this isn't suicide; it's a sacrifice. I don't know why, I don't know how, but I know if I don't do this, Sophi will never get pregnant, she will never fall in love; at least not with someone who'll return the favor, she will never experience anything worthwhile. I, personally, will not hold her back, but my existence as it is now, at this moment and in this room will. I don't inhale before I dive in and I don't say good-bye. It's already painful enough. I can taste my own tears before I dive in and I can hear Shadow and Phantom screaming for me, as if catching my attention before I hit the water will stop this and bring me back up beside them. My body's caught in the flow of the water and I end up stuck between two of the gears. I can see Shadow cringe from below the water. I stand up, but my body is still there. I look down at myself and back up to them. They're in shock, obviously. Shadow tries to follow me, forgetting Sophi's still in his arms. Luckily, Phantom stops him. He makes a break for the stairs, and again, Shadow cuts him off. Then, they arrive. Who? Everyone. Everyone I have ever befriended, none of my relatives, but every friend I've ever made. They're surrounding the boxes, weeping, bawling, looking at Shadow, consoling him and Phantom has taken Sophia into his arms. Shadow's gripping the railing so hard, I can see the whites of his knuckles from where I'm standing. The sight of him, completely crushed, brings me to tears. I don't know why, but I start laughing. I wave my arms in the air and I keep trying to pull their attention away from my body to look at me. "I'm right here!" I keep shouting "Look at me!" I keep waving my arms and three people; one on my left and two on my right wave back. They laugh with me and run down the stairs to my side. Everyone else looks at them like they're crazy, but two of the three take my hands and the other stands behind me with her arms around my neck. Suddenly, everyone else can see me. We convince them it wan an elaborate prank; that the body at our feet is all smoke and mirrors, although we know it's not. The four of us know what happened, but this is one secret we'll never tell. We all laugh and in unison we say "Thank you all for coming, we hope you all enjoyed the show and {name censored} go home!" I'm the first one p the stairs and Shadow and I hold each other tighter than ever. I get the chewing of a lifetime for not letting him in on what was going on and all I can do is shrug. No matter how much he yells at me and threatens me for hurting him with such a prank, I can't stop smiling. I hold Sophia in my arms and look at her, really look at her. There's a knowledge in her eyes that no one else sees.....She knows what happened, and she's grateful for it. Phantom takes her back and I'm swept into the crowd like they're a current themselves. Hugs, tears, laughs surround me.
I wake up, and I'm sweating. What on earth could have caused such a dream? I don't know, but somehow, I fall asleep and I have never had the dream again. I have thought about it, as I mentioned, on several occasions, but have never dreamt it again, and haven't spoken a word of it to anyone, whether I've wanted to or not.
Sudoku Kitten · Sun Oct 12, 2008 @ 01:12pm · 1 Comments |
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