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stressed I hate what she has turned him into anymore when I'm around him he seems to turn it to where all of his mess ups are my fault. Or The fact that I'm a "bad" Kid...and it's all her...Dad why can't you just care again, why can't we talk? WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THE TEARS THAT ARE FALLING INFRONT OF YOUR FACE? He used to notice when I was just alittle bit down and today he proved he doesn't care anymore because I was about to cry right infront of him and all he could do was be a smart a** which made things worse. I told someone earlier that I hate him, I take it back I don't hate him, I hate what he has become, what he is now....I want my dad back. The one guy I could turn to when I couldn't turn to anyone else. Tomorrow when he picks me up from practice, or today rather since it is 12:30 am I'm going to tell him. "You used be able to tell when I was upset by something even if I was hardly upset, and yesterday you couldn't tell I was crying as I got out of your truck. You used to talk to me and we would have conversations about nothing for hours, Now we don't have conversations, you just tell me how gumpy I am well did you ever stop to think of the reason I could be that way? You used to Care but now you come when ever you want to and the rest of the time I'm left to fend for myself. I hate what you've become and I want my dad back not this horrid imposter...." I can't take all this s**t anymore, I had a massive break down and I'm only 17....I just want to be loved and want my dad to love me back. He never says it anymore...but he will say it to that horrid girlfriend of his. She puts all these Ideas in his head that I'm something horrible and I'll never ammount to anything. He is always talking about his job. "Oh well once UPS takes over and the first transfer on the board to Florida comes open me and Janis (that horrid hag of a girlfriend of his) are going to forida and you can stay here. OH THANKS DAD FOR YOU KNOW GETTING MY OPINION! Thanks for asking how I feel about anything! He used to do that to...He used to be involved in my life and now it seems like he just wants me out of it. Well if that is the case then it can happen.....I don't have to be in his life either....Maybe one day he will see where he ******** up and then say oh damn I wish I wold have done this or that maybe my daughter would still talk to me....Well I guess that's all I have to say I'll update tomorrow on what happened..... confused cry crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying

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