View User's Journal



My own path? Yup, I finaly updated, not that many of you care, but all the same! 8D Anyway, I kinda feel like I'm a tag-along. Its hard to explain, but since this is the longest I have lived in one set place(2 years) I've never realy been in a place where i just know everyone a town, or a certant group of people in town, have places where everyone knows my name, places I know by heart. I actualy feel lost. sweatdrop I have places I've been to more then once, but mostly the places I go to are shown to me, and far away. I feel very awkward and home bound living in a city, I'm used to being able to go far enuff away I can leave the town and be in forest or field. So to know I'm trapped on all sides my people is scary. I realy hate people, I'm clumsy and make mistakes often, so I'de rather be away from people in a forest, or something where people cant see me. All the people I know, I know them because someone introduced me to them. So it rather feels like I dont have my own self. I feel like I'm following others around this maze I live in. In Tulsa there arnt any side walks, so unless you have a car, you cant get anywhere. I guess thats also partly it. I want to brake away from the path and places I was shown, I want to make my own, but everytime I try I feel like a little ant lost in a forest. I guess I dont know how, like I said, I've never lived a single place for long. I want my own places, my own path, I cant care if it interweaves with my friends, but I just want something my own. I dont want to feel so detached, and lost. Thats partly where alot of my thoughts of dying come from, I dont want to be lost forever n a world where I have no path. I love my friends, and adore them and would be even more lost if they didnt show me all the things they have, but now I want something my own, something I can show them. I dont realy have any deep dark secrets, I feel very shallow. Not like a shallow mean person...but like a 2D background character, one of those ones that just shows up has one trait then leaves, never the main character, never from their point of veiw, just there, and very flat.

Posted by: KnightWren Mon Jul 28, 2008 @ 05:22am

[center:ed35d4d2a0]
Formerly Darksithya~
[/center:ed35d4d2a0]

User Comments: [2] [add]

Atke
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Mon Jul 28, 2008 @ 05:30am


	I feel like that too sometimes. I bet I'd be a side character in my own manga. ^.^' You aren't alone feeling like you're a tag-a-long.

Commented on: Mon Jul 28, 2008 @ 05:36am


	This is going to sound ridiculous, but here goes nothing. You are the main character of your own story. Thing is, I've never really thought about it, but it's kinda the same with me. I guess some people I know because they randomly walked up to me and said 'Hi!', but that's not a lot of people. I met all of my current friends through other people. Steph... randomly walked up to me the first day of second grade and we've been friends since (not necessarily very close anymore, but still kinda friends). Through her I met Elli, and Micky, and through those guys I met Sakura, and then through Sakura I became an internet whore and met you guys. And Squirrels. And I totally left out so many of my other friends I've had in between now and second grade.... sweatdrop Anyway, back to you. You're not a 2D background character. You're a very interesting and very important and very 3D person. You have a life, and you live it everyday. The fact that you can perceive yourself as a 2D character makes you all the more interesting. If I were to go Kumori on you, then I would be very interested in you, because you're a different person than most people. And then I would go make out with Gojyo. And that's why I'm not going to go all Kumori on you. But I know how you feel with the whole 'hate people thing', sort of. With me... it's not that I hate people, it's that... I kinda do. See, with my friends, I can be with them for as long as I want to with no side effects. With people I don't know very well, I get worn out very quickly. In crowds, I get really tired really fast, and really cranky. I'm an introverted person sometimes. Seems like you are too. You have an explanation for everything though, and you aren't cliche like a 2D background character. Tema, you're a great person, and I wish that there was some way I could make it so you would understand that, and not feel so bad about yourself... You don't know what I would sacrifice to see that. Just be who you are, and don't worry... just be friendly and you'll be able to make more people. Just because you don't have any deep dark secrets about yourself doesn't make you worse. Do you honestly want them? They're a burden. Believe me. But if you want to, then try to find your own secret place. Build it anywhere, make it anything, and do what you want with it. We don't have to know.

Tsar Valentine
Community Member

Offline

User Comments: [2] [add]

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

More Information