There are a few things I absolutely hate about having divorced parents. It would be wonderful to have two loving parents who don't hate each other. And it might be nice to NOT have to drive 140 miles every week just to see your parents. But what really gets me annoyed is when my mom and dad start to fight. I always get caught in the middle, because I'm the peacekeeper around town. I try to make my mom realize that it's both of their faults, but no one even listens to me. It's not like I try and speak up, though. It's better for me to just keep my mouth shut. If I didn't, I would hate them AND myself.
Although sometimes I want to disobey my father. Like in his royal decree that I shouldn't talk to Kevin anymore, or any of his friends, or anyone that I don't know personally. It's driving me nuts! It's sort of okay right now, though. Kevin's at the beach, so I can't be tempted to cheat and talk to him. But I still REALLY want to talk to his friend, who plays on Fiesta with me and spoils me rotten in the game by buying me expensive items...
But I digress. The point is, my teenager instincts are finally showing themselves. They're telling me to fight back. Because I'll win. I'm the peacekeeper. I can twist anything. I can think of a hundred reasons to talk to Kevin and other people online - like my writer friends - and if Dad can think of a thousand counterarguments, I can think of more arguments until we're both neck-deep in reasons. My brain isn't something to be messed with. Sure, sometimes I can get a little crazy and out of it. But I'm so good at finding my way around things, that in an instant, I figured out a way to be able to contact Kevin and leave no traces. And it wouldn't cost anything, either.
I'm not sure what's wrong. Why am I who I am? How can I not sit back and just CRY for crying's sake? Something is terribly wrong with me. Something is not right. Not right with me, not right with my parents. I'm SO CLOSE to breaking the rules and talking to Kevin. I know he'll listen. At least, I hope he will.
I could go on and on writing about everything that's wrong...how I'm so close to the edge...how I really, desperately want to fight back and prove that I'm not always the peacekeeper. That my job isn't permanent. Soon, I'll be forced to move out anyway, what with college just around the corner (a few more years and I'll be there), and then they'll realize that they're not fit to keep the peace. I'm the only one who can work for both sides and survive. The inner turmoil is just pushing my limits. But soon, I will break, and I will fight back.
I have to. It's instinct. I'll fight as hard as I can and face whatever consequences I have to. I'm still afraid. I'm still scared. But I know I don't have a choice but to resist. Like those smart phinos in the Sea of Greed, I'll have to resist all their attempts to stun me. And I will win. I can't not win.
Losing is not an option. And neither is quitting.
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So sue me.
A collection of things I bothered to write down. Read at your own risk.
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cherry144 Community Member 
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Which I do not really have. My dad is somewhere without communication from us. And my mom left the house. So my family is me, my cats, and my boyfriend Sage, and of course I consider all my friends on gaia,fiesta, real life friends my family.
But I know how hard this must be for you.
by the way now that you are lvl 20 you are so close to being near my lvl but now lvling will not be as easy as before let me tell ya welcome to hard lvling wink