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A record of my existence, should anything happen to me...
I don’t know how long I have been imprisoned by the “black prince” even with all my training it was hard to mark the passage of time. There was no window and no light save for the bare bulb overhead that was only on when Kuro chose to visit. And he visited often to chat with me about how I was doing and how I was enjoying the accommodations he so graciously provided. He even was so kind as to indulge me with a bucket whenever he was around. I still hadn’t eaten in ages but I was given water on occasion, just the bare minimum to assure I survived. Alas, our talks were usually short. He would always inevitably question me about Shiro and was never pleased with my answers which lead to beating me until I passed out. The last time it happened, I woke up in a different room. So he was moving, which meant that Shiro was still a thorn in his side.

Even in the dark it was easy to tell that my surrounding had changed. There was still no window or light but as my eyes adjusted I noticed a few things right away. The biggest difference was that I wasn’t strung up anymore. For Kuro to do such a thing it meant that he was very confident in holding me here. I could still make out the red glow of a camera near the ceiling in one corner. Faintly I could make out a fluorescent light high above and on one wall the outline of a door. I felt a rough carpet beneath me that reeked of mold and old cigarettes. There wasn’t much I could do in my weakened state especially with the new pain that came with my arms being able to relax.

Left alone to ponder my hopelessness, I wondered what exactly would become of me. I suppose a normal girl, like Sayo had been-no that wasn’t normal-would be terrified. A normal girl would fear for her virtue and hope for someone important to her to save her. Did I even have anyone important to me? My surrogate father certainly was not. Hell, it was his fault I was here to begin with. Yuri was a good friend but when I had stepped out of that life and cut my ties to her it wasn’t that bad. In my gang we looked after each other but I kept my distance, they never knew the real me. I didn’t even hold any sympathy for the others like me that might be out there keeping their heads down and watching their backs. Not after seeing what Kuro had become. That only leaves Shiro, who I admit I felt some kind of attachment to, but all our training had taught us to kill or abandon anyone who was captured by the enemy. I couldn’t afford myself such illusions as hope. I would not betray Shiro to save myself even if they somehow managed to break me so they would have to kill me or whatever else Kuro planned on doing with me.

I suppose any normal person in my situation would hope for death. When people become desperate for release they’ll take it any way it comes. I know there are things Yurojin can come up with that would be a lot worse than death, but one of the strongest instincts hammered into us is self-preservation. I bet that was the doctor’s doing as well, he does seem to have a knack for saving his own skin. Even if I don’t take the easy way out, I will still tenaciously hang on to this twisted life of mine. It was with those thoughts that I drifted off once again.





 
 
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