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When I look over what I last posted I see that I sound so dead. I sound as if I don,t want to exist, though that is true. I make my life sound so horrible. I don't mean to. I just tell it liek it is.

Well okay here is something that won't make you use your brain as much. A small summary of my day.

I woke up exhausted. I haven't been getting much sleep lately to busy thinking about someone special to me. I lay in my bed thinking about what I would do today. I felt sick as usuial. Lately I have felt sick, felt like I wouldn't live on be able to survive. That is why in my last post, I asked if you can become weak from depression. Becaue that is what it is doing to me.

When I got to school I was still asleep. My dad pressured me to take up another sport to get inshape. Because I am not normal, I am lazy. I ignored him replying when he raised his voice. I look forward to seeing my friends.

When I got out of the car I leaned on the railing as I walked into the building when I got to my friends I felt dead. I felt like dieing. I explained the lack of sleep leaving out the depression. In the end one person grabed my bag while someone else carried me up the stairs. When I got to my lcoker Istood there watching. Listening. The first class was french. I sat pretty much ignoring evertyhign around me.

When I got to my next class religion, I sat there finished my work. I wa baptised by my parents I didn'T ask to be christian. Even if I on't believe what they believe I still go to that school. I take it as a way to expand my horizons.

During gym I struggled to to make it through the many drills. Instead of playing many sports we only play one in gym. Volleyball. It is fun. Because I am okay at it. During lunch I eat just enough picking from other peoples lunches. I laugh gossip a bit and then leave the cafeteria. To sit with friends onthe grass. They play in a circel talking falling on the ground playing trust games. I sit apart form them playing trying to send a txt message to my special someone. But the phone wont work. I walk up to ebveryone and join in the fun. I don't have a place wiht them.. I just follow them to refrain form being alone. Lunch ends and IO feel better.

During science the fire bellrings I laugh and celebrate with my bestfriend. I stand in line gossiping speaking meanly about Seb, a guy I am not exactly fond of. He is in my bus. I tease about how he likes my bestfriend.

School ends I have a ton of homework. I sdit with another best friend on the bus. She tell sme she kiseed her boyfriend for the first time. SHe can't stop smilling I smile and tlak. Then when she leaves I sit alone in my bench. Ignored by many tlaking to Alexis. We talk abotu homeowrk. THe bus driver forgets my stop I end up walkign longer then I should have but I don'"t care.

Whne I get home I fix the computer and am abel to talk to my special someone. I feel hapy again. He gives me a reason to want to live. Corny. BNut that is the truth. If it weren't for my friends and him I doubt I would want to be here right now.

Peace out!
-*-Brooke-*-