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Just one of those times... I've begun to feel left out... to feel as though all my friends are getting farther away, out of my reach. It feels like they're all achieving in everythig that I ever wanted to do; music, art, writing... everything. I know it's not true, because, to be honest, I've never really told any of them. I often see myself as selfish, even when other people don't. I mean, I help people out all the time, I smile when I feel like being mad, or when I just want to cry. Every damn day feels like I could be doing something but I'm too worthless to do it, or that I'm just not good enough. My heart actually feels heavy; I don't know how that can be, but it is. Sometimes... sometimes I just don't want to be here, be here with the way my life is going. I want to write books, I want to learn how to cook and be a chef, to work on independant films with my brother Donavan. I want to... I just want to be away. To go away and not look back. Usually I'd look to games or books or anime to help me, but now it's just not enough. I feel alone even when I'm surrounded by my familly and friends. Do lots of people feel like this? It's the first time it's really gotten this bad. Sometimes I want to be the center of attention, but I'm scared of it. I don't want to hurt my friends, y'know? I try my best, and sometimes it's not good enough, and I just beat myself up for it; it's not right, I'm just scared sometimes, too scared to do anything, to try something.

Posted by: Taro Momiji Sun Jul 10, 2005 @ 02:38am

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Himi_Firestarter
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Commented on: Tue Jul 12, 2005 @ 02:29am


	Bad times come and bad times pass I don't know if all people feel this way but, I know I have. The only thing I know to do is wait it out, I know it sounds unsympathetic but, I've never found a solution for it. I'm afraid to go out on a limb for I'm afraid to fall. At one time I wouldn't even give you this advice but, I've gotten better. Maybe for the fact I had a good friend who knew me, the real me to talk to about my problems. I wish you luck and I hope life seems less intimadating.

Commented on: Sat Jul 30, 2005 @ 07:23am


	Adding to Himi......Yeah been there done that, but I'm still have the scars from it. I can't be in a room with alot of people anymore.....it scares me. I've learned to deal with it cause believe me........it aint ever going away.......but it'll get better....I promise

IvelliousNailo
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DEVIL_MAY_CRY
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Commented on: Tue Aug 02, 2005 @ 10:23am


	I'm not going to say that I feel bad for you because that's not going to solve anything. I've been through that and I'm still dwelling in it in fact. You have so many goals to fulfill. Unlike me, you have time to do so. I have no time left, living past 30 can be something so hard for me. Something impossible, as the doctors told me. But you know? I set my goals high, I don't want to waste time on pitying my own self and let the minutes flow. If the things go bad. Don't try to make it all good yourself. Let it heal little by little. Sometimes you just have to let go a bit. This is life. Ups and downs. But that's why we live it. Ever thought why we live life if we're just going to die at the end with nothing? Because of the process. The process of birth, living, and dying. It's something so wonderful to experience. Your life is like a ride and you should enjoy it. Experiencing something low is a good thing too. It keeps you strong. Let your pride take you and I can't promise you this, but I can tell you. That your life will shine will the time comes.

Commented on: Fri Sep 02, 2005 @ 12:18am


	Hey i know how you feel.....i think, it is a place that i have been to many times before, and the only real way that i have found to get out of it is to talk it out with one of my closest friends... unlike the others that have posted before me i don't really have any suggestions or great advice, but i do offer this, Time heals all wounds, no matter how deep eventually they will heal, but hey if you ever need to talk feel free to pm me, and i hope for the best for you

Vampyric Tendencies
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Myuka
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Commented on: Sat Sep 03, 2005 @ 06:31pm


	Eyeah this is going to sound VERY childish so fasten your seat belts kids because we are going to discuss Rudolph....yes the riendeer. A smig off topice because he was PHYSICLLY outcasted because he was diffrent You are Mentally outcasted through your eyes because you are diffrent from your friends okay now to the point of all this, I'll be short sweet and to the point with all this As we all know Rudolph was chosen because of his diffrences,and thus he toook his rightful place at the top for all the mental suffering of having his nose then other laughing at him Kinda like you but you are silent about it,so in your mind they are kind of mocking you even though in real life they are merely showing you their work,your enviousness transforming it into your mind to BE somthing negitive and making you feel bad about yourself now surely you know rudolph is just a kids story but there is always some truth in kids tales: -people can be cruel -wierder and people who feel outcasted will eventually outshine I mean there is the main two I can think of but still hopefully by now you get what i'm saying that eventually you will become somting great because of your ambition and hopes for achievement in those catagories

Commented on: Sun Nov 06, 2005 @ 01:28am


	I do to feel like that at times. But, I try not to get the best of me. And I'm sorry that you felt or continuing to feel like that. Everything will work out in the end.

[Silent Assassin]
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Blocky123
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Commented on: Mon Nov 07, 2005 @ 09:03pm

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