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November 7, 2007

Well, I have no clue what just happened last night. Okay, maybe I do….alright I do know, but still I wouldn’t think it would happen, sort of, but not like this, not even right now….well, not this very moment, of course.
So much now my head is spinning, my mind giving me headaches, (or maybe that was from flopping onto Cody’s bed, that hurt a lot….^^) half of me, well maybe now most of me is telling me to just be friends with Chris. Now, I know it’s been a while since me and Chris have been going out, January would be our 2 year, and I’d hate to ruin and throw the whole relationship away, but I think it would be for the best, y’know? My mind is floating all over the place, it’s hard to focus just on one thing. Everything comes to mind when I think about 1 person…..Cody.
He is like, no, he IS the guy version of myself. It might even work out that we could almost be blood related, maybe even twins, our birthdays are the same! But…..just the 2 hour difference, different appearance, different family and probably many more features that I seem to can’t think of come into play, so that proves that we are not even close to being related.
But, all the similarities we share! Like our birthdays, interests, hobbies, music, books, movies, video games, websites, the way we could talk about 1 subject and branch off from it and talk forever , it just amazes me. But, I use to do those things with Chris, but it practically died off between us now, and I just don’t feel like talking to him anymore, I even stopped calling him late at night.
No matter how hard I try, now it just doesn’t seem like I can get that spark back that was between me and Chris. Instead, I think it fell off of him and caught onto Cody. Well, that’s my perspective.
Cody and I have been really good friends, best friends practically, since, (when did he move to Crookston?) the 10th grade? He was friends with Topher, so I guess it was b/c of Topher I got Cody as my most bestest friend in the world! ^^
And tonight was probably the spark I was looking for.
Yeah, I went to his house around 6 after practice, with Kelsey, of course, and turns out when we got there, they (Cody and Colton) were about to leave to see us. It got really close to being 6:30 so I left all 3 of them and headed for the pool so I wouldn’t be AS late. I was only about 1-2 minutes, so no big deal. Cody, Colton and Kelsey came a little later, and “helped” me with my cleaning, dusting the big orange pipes in the locker rooms. Cody helped me in the guys’ room, and Kelsey and Colton WAS suppose to do dusting in the girls’ room., but didn’t.
Anyway, so when I was done with my shift, we left to go back to Cody’s house, KK with me and Colton with Cody. We were going down a road not too far from Cody’s when Cody all of a sudden passes me, I’m going 40mph on a 30, and a cop car was driving towards us going the other direction. I saw the flashing lights and too my horror, I thought she was going to pull me over, so I sort of slammed on the breaks. But instead, she went around me and stopped Cody, who was already at the stop sign. I passed by, seeing if the cop was going to get me, but I just kept going and headed for his house, hoping that the cop wouldn’t follow me.
After many minutes of circling the block from a certain distance, trying not to pass by in front of them, the cop left and we followed them to their house. Kelsey and I both felt so bad. We went into their house and it turned out as Cody told me, he got caught for speeding, 50 on a 30, and didn’t tell his mom yet, who was in the living room, taking a test. He said he would tell her when she’s done, so she wouldn’t be so stressed.
I laid back on his bed, against the wall of his room and buried my head in my hands. I felt so bad, but he put his hand on my shoulder and told me not to worry about it. He laid back on his bed too and half buried himself with a blanket. We both didn’t move for a while, until I moved so I ended up on top of his arm, my head on his shoulder. He put his head on top of mine, and we stayed like that for moments. I could have felt asleep just laying there, but I know if I did, someone like Chelsea would have walked in on us, so I got up as soon as I felt like falling asleep.
Then Chelsea walked in and asked what we were doing, and started playing with Cody’s book light. Then somehow I got a hold of it and I started playing around with it for a few minutes. After a while Cody randomly asks if why I’m playing around with his light after Chelsea left and I said I didn’t know and threw it back onto his “bookshelf”, if you want to call it that. Then he starts saying something about me being like a kid, reminding him of “how it was before”. I sighed and laid across his lap, his arm coming over me and put his head down and said, “ You’re my best friend, you know that?” and I replied with a childish “yeah” and we both smiled. I turned to face up at him, and he looks down at me, both staring into each other’s eyes, smile, and look away. I love the way he smiles, just the way his cheeks get big and pinkish…^^.
Then, all of a sudden, I noticed he was coming closer, and he kissed my forehead. To be honest, I had no clue what to expect. I returned his longing glance and smiled. He then said, “You’re beautiful, you know that?” I giggled. “I bet you never heard that before, huh?”
I smiled even bigger and looked the other way, a little embarrassed at what he said, and replied, “no, well- maybe from Chris…..” and he smiled greatly. I love how he smiles at me. I can’t be mad when he smiles.
I got up, unwillingly, looked at his clock sulkily and finally said that I should get going, otherwise I was going to get in trouble.
But really, it doesn’t seem Cody would be the type to do things like that. Yeah he’s a major bookworm like me, but he knows so much than I do and I can’t believe he and I could ever get along so well.
That’s just it though, is it such a bad thing to get along with the best guy friend a girl could ever have while on the verge of breaking off a relationship that’s been going on for almost 2 years?