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I'm depressed.

And I know why.

*sighs* I've been talking quite a bit about family recently, haven't I? I guess...that's really what I want now is a real goddamn family.

I want my mom back. I want her back before she changed for Joe. I want her back as the person I always ran to and who I trusted above all else.

I want my sisters, back before they found drugs and gangs. I want them back as the people I loved to spend my time with.

Strangely...I want a dad. Not someone who calls me a few days before my 20th birthday to b***h about how my mom is this horrible person that is stealing from me, and that he was always right. I want a dad that's actually THERE for all of my achievements, not just hearing about them in hindsight. I want a dad that actually ******** cares enough to try and make amends for the things he did in the past and not just to have some personal gain.

I...God I want Josh now.