heart So of couse you are expecting this to be about Chris. Well guess what? wink it is. So last night I sent him and email on myspace, explaining why I worry about us the way I do. I felt stupid redface but I figured if I did not get it out. I would hurt even more. So I sent it too him. I wanted him to promise that he would always be there for me, and he would always protect me. This may sound weird to you because you do not know our relationship but he always wants to protect me. So this morning before I went to school. I usually get up at 6 am. I went and checked my email to see if he had emailed me back. He did email me back but something was up with the myspace forum so I could not retrieve my messages. burning_eyes So I figured "VERY FUNNY GOD YOU WOULD ONLY DO THIS TO ME WOULDN'T YOU!!" stressed I was mad. I feel that sometimes God ******** with us to test us. I think he ******** with my patience because he knows I have none. But that is another story..and no I am not Christian. Do not even get me started on religion....
mrgreen back on the topic. Well Chris calls me at 6:15 am because he gets off of work at 4 am. He called me and said " so why are you so worried?" I said did you not read the email? he said I want you to promise me that you will quit worrying. He said I love you and I do not plan on ever leaving you. I said well I will promise to not worry if you promise me that you will always be there for me. He said I can not promise that. I said I can not promise that I will stop worrying. He said but you see I am a cop heather, that is a big chance of some dumbass shooting me. I do not want to promise it then you find out that I am dead.
I understand that...he said so can you promise me you will try your hardest to stop worrying about us, I love you. I promised. Ever since he said that too me I have not been worrying that much. Ihave just been trying to take it cool. 3nodding Just trying to lay back.
I am terrified of loosing him. I also wonder if he wonders and thinks about me as much as I do him. Probably not, I am not that appealing. But if he did I would hope that he would not think about me worrying but how much he loved me.
What do you do when you feel you have no use?
 Orchids of Apocalypse · Tue Sep 11, 2007 @ 09:56pm · 1 Comments |
