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I'm scared. Terrified. I want to feel safe.

I'm sitting on the windowsill (how do you write that) in my room, just staring outside. I remember that day, 16 august 2006. The day when someone I loved ran away and died in a car accident. And when another friend committed suicide. It was the most terrible day ever. Well sort of...

I'm scared now. Scared it will happen again. Scared that more friends will die. I can't help it.

I can't think about anything else right now. The rain reflects my feelings.
Tears for the loved ones that died.
Tears for the ones that were murdered.
Tears for the ones that are still in a far away country, fighting for their life.
Tears for the innocent that are still in jail.
Tears for the ones we are afraid to lose.

I never told anyone though. Never told anyone that my friends died. Not even my family.

The day is almost over and I fainted 5 times today. Mainly because I got a piercing yesterday, but also because I'm depressed. I can't write anymore for now..