There's no one emotion to describe what I'm feeling right now.
Angry.
Annoyed.
Confused.
Upset.
Jealous.
Content.
Happy.
Anxious.
I'm sick of being told by the same person over and over that I'm such a horrible ******** friend.
Yet, they keep talking to me, and tell me I'm their best friend.
If I'm such a bad ******** friend, stop talking to me, ignore me, and don't be my friend.
It's that simple.
Then yet, when I finally tell her what I just said, she sits there and says that I'm not a horrible friend.
I'm just getting sick and tired of her taking her anger out on me when she's in a bitchy mood.
I love her too death, but I can't handle this anymore.
She says she has to deal with a lot of s**t with me.
Well guess what?
I may be annoying, but I don't open my feelings to her.
So how can she tell me she's putting up with a lot of s**t with me, when I don't even tell her anything?
She says I talk about my anxiety all the time.
Guess what?
Yes, I have anxiety, but I haven't had a panic attack in over 3 months.
I haven't even thought about my anxiety since then.
The fact that she picks apart all my flaws.
Then constantly bothers me about them.
The one time I missed a spot and didn't blend in enough with my cover-up.
She bugged me about it.
And she talks about how I "always" miss spots and how it "doesn't match my skin tone."
Yes, I have "pimples."
But it doesn't mean she has to sit there all the time and tell me I have them.
Or that she wants to pick them.
She also always says that I only tend to think about myself.
Who's been person who she has been going to?
Who has been person that has helped her through what she's going to?
I haven't even told her about what's going in on my mind.
I haven't told her what's going in on my life.
I haven't told her what I'm feeling.
So she needs to stop saying that I only think of myself.
Seriously, I'm sick of this.
My boyfriend's cheating on me, and I don't care at all.
Hence, my confused part.
I don't even really like him all that much.
I don't even know why I said yes to him, even knowing he's a cheater.
That's me for you, your typical all American desperate girl.
I know he ******** other girls, and it doesn't bother me one bit.
And I know it should, yet, I can't seem to break it off with him?
I've been dating him for about 2 or more months now.
I've seen him TWICE, counting the day I met him.
I'm sorta angry and jealous about the whole cheating thing.
But I actually, don't give a ********.
I'm happy, `cause I'm home, and I get a break of being around my friend.
And being alone by myself.
But at the same time, I completely hate it.
Here, I'm alone.
All I do is sit at the computer, and talk to my e-friends.
I'm more close to my e-friends than to my irl friends.
And it's kinda...sorta...really sad.
Seriously, I know more about Sean, than I honestly know about Emma.
It sickens me, to know that I have no life.
But I can't control it, I live in a town with less than 59 people.
None of them are my age.
All of my friends that I know more about are 2 hours away from me.
And the one friend that I actually hang out with, is about 30 minutes away from me.
I see her a lot, and I like it.
I just don't know if I can handle having basically one friend anymore.
Ohwait, just seems like that one friend is no longer my friend anymore.
Ha.
I can't handle holding all these feelings inside anymore.
I have no one to tell them to.
And I need to find some way to get them out.
I'm about 2 inches away from having an emotional break down.
And I don't know what will happen if I have one.
It can either turn into a tear fest, or a rip up my room fest.
I'm happy, I randomly ran into Aaron, someone who I've known since I was 3,
without trying on Saturday.
First time I've seen him in over 2 years.
It was good to see him again.
Hopefully he'll add me on Myspace eventually.
Meh, that's the only good thing that's on my mind right now.
I'm done.
Whatever.
xoxo.
` G a y
Angry.
Annoyed.
Confused.
Upset.
Jealous.
Content.
Happy.
Anxious.
I'm sick of being told by the same person over and over that I'm such a horrible ******** friend.
Yet, they keep talking to me, and tell me I'm their best friend.
If I'm such a bad ******** friend, stop talking to me, ignore me, and don't be my friend.
It's that simple.
Then yet, when I finally tell her what I just said, she sits there and says that I'm not a horrible friend.
I'm just getting sick and tired of her taking her anger out on me when she's in a bitchy mood.
I love her too death, but I can't handle this anymore.
She says she has to deal with a lot of s**t with me.
Well guess what?
I may be annoying, but I don't open my feelings to her.
So how can she tell me she's putting up with a lot of s**t with me, when I don't even tell her anything?
She says I talk about my anxiety all the time.
Guess what?
Yes, I have anxiety, but I haven't had a panic attack in over 3 months.
I haven't even thought about my anxiety since then.
The fact that she picks apart all my flaws.
Then constantly bothers me about them.
The one time I missed a spot and didn't blend in enough with my cover-up.
She bugged me about it.
And she talks about how I "always" miss spots and how it "doesn't match my skin tone."
Yes, I have "pimples."
But it doesn't mean she has to sit there all the time and tell me I have them.
Or that she wants to pick them.
She also always says that I only tend to think about myself.
Who's been person who she has been going to?
Who has been person that has helped her through what she's going to?
I haven't even told her about what's going in on my mind.
I haven't told her what's going in on my life.
I haven't told her what I'm feeling.
So she needs to stop saying that I only think of myself.
Seriously, I'm sick of this.
My boyfriend's cheating on me, and I don't care at all.
Hence, my confused part.
I don't even really like him all that much.
I don't even know why I said yes to him, even knowing he's a cheater.
That's me for you, your typical all American desperate girl.
I know he ******** other girls, and it doesn't bother me one bit.
And I know it should, yet, I can't seem to break it off with him?
I've been dating him for about 2 or more months now.
I've seen him TWICE, counting the day I met him.
I'm sorta angry and jealous about the whole cheating thing.
But I actually, don't give a ********.
I'm happy, `cause I'm home, and I get a break of being around my friend.
And being alone by myself.
But at the same time, I completely hate it.
Here, I'm alone.
All I do is sit at the computer, and talk to my e-friends.
I'm more close to my e-friends than to my irl friends.
And it's kinda...sorta...really sad.
Seriously, I know more about Sean, than I honestly know about Emma.
It sickens me, to know that I have no life.
But I can't control it, I live in a town with less than 59 people.
None of them are my age.
All of my friends that I know more about are 2 hours away from me.
And the one friend that I actually hang out with, is about 30 minutes away from me.
I see her a lot, and I like it.
I just don't know if I can handle having basically one friend anymore.
Ohwait, just seems like that one friend is no longer my friend anymore.
Ha.
I can't handle holding all these feelings inside anymore.
I have no one to tell them to.
And I need to find some way to get them out.
I'm about 2 inches away from having an emotional break down.
And I don't know what will happen if I have one.
It can either turn into a tear fest, or a rip up my room fest.
I'm happy, I randomly ran into Aaron, someone who I've known since I was 3,
without trying on Saturday.
First time I've seen him in over 2 years.
It was good to see him again.
Hopefully he'll add me on Myspace eventually.
Meh, that's the only good thing that's on my mind right now.
I'm done.
Whatever.
xoxo.
` G a y
Community Member