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im talking about Chris here, im talking about Topher. yes, Topher.

i told him i was kinda upset about him propsing to that b!tch of his. i didn't like her and never will. i just have a feeling that she's gonna do something and Topher's gonna regret it.
i asked him why he did that and he replied "because i love her and i want to be with her for the rest of my life. she makes me the happiest man in the world". i didnt want to hear that. i never wanted to hear that. ever.
Topher's been my best friend since my 7th grade year and ever since he agreed to go out with her, i've been left out. i miss all the times that we use to hang out and do stupid stuff. i didnt think it would have to come to this.
i think i love him.
when i was about to tell him that, he said, "if you're gonna say that you have feelings for me, i dont. you had that chance and you didnt take advantage of it. (me-b/c i wasnt ready for it!) i slowly didnt care about you and now i dont feel for you anymore. i will always remember you as a friend. (me- a friend? is that all i am to you? i thought we were best friends?)".
"now choose, you either dont care about this whole thing, or you get out of my life for good. choose. now."
i didnt want to not care about him "loving" that b!tch. i did care b/c i think....i think i do love him. i replied "im not leaving you" then logged off. i couldnt take it. i was shaking and crying so bad i couldn't help myself. do i really love topher??