I wouldn't mind so much if this was a one off but it's not. Practically every guy I've been out with has done the same thing! I'm confused. What's so tricky? You want me or you don't, simple as.
Or perhaps not.
I've been thinking about the things that confuse them and it's pretty basic stuff. I wonder how they'd cope with being dicked about, being dumped and picked up again and being ignored for months and then bombarded with texts or stared at across the bar all gooey eyed and appologetic?
There were many ways to confuse my poor exes, perhaps they were just easily fuddled, or stupid, or both.
method 1
Food
I could offer him a choice of crisps.
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He's allowed to pick one packet, tell him to chose a flavor. Sit back and watch. Utter confusion.
I could offer him a choice of crisps.
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</center>He's allowed to pick one packet, tell him to chose a flavor. Sit back and watch. Utter confusion.
I would spend many a happy hour watching him rummage through a mulitpack trying desperately to decide which flavor. It'd take an age. He'd finally decide and then open the packet, eat one crisp and change his mind.
Method 2
Hot Bevrages
I could put the kettle on and ask if he wants tea or coffee.
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If the television is on at the time I have a feeling the answer will be "yes please". Mainly because he won't be listening.
I could put the kettle on and ask if he wants tea or coffee.
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</center>If the television is on at the time I have a feeling the answer will be "yes please". Mainly because he won't be listening.
It's not a difficult question. Tea OR coffee? Ask a girl. There may be a moments hesitation but she'll answer with one or the other, not just "yes please!" I solved this annoying situation by brewing a nice pot of coffee and serving his with a teabag in it.
method 3
Shopping (part 1)
The first part of the shopping conundrum is retail therapy
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No they WONT come with me. But why?
The first part of the shopping conundrum is retail therapy
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</center>No they WONT come with me. But why?
I'll ask him why he can't come and watch in fascination as he flaps and flusters trying to think of a plausable excuse for not coming along when all I really want to hear is "because I hate shopping"
Why lie?
method 4
Shopping (part 2)
The second part of the shopping conundrum is groceries
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"Hunny, could you just n** to the supermarket and grab a few groceries for the weekend, the list's stuck to the fridge...."
The second part of the shopping conundrum is groceries
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</center>"Hunny, could you just n** to the supermarket and grab a few groceries for the weekend, the list's stuck to the fridge...."
Now this one was FABULOUS! (as long as I didn't give him CASH for the groceries) How long does it take to run round the supermarket and chuck a few essentials in the basket? I've seen them on Supermarket Sweep, they get about 2 minutes and they can all fill at least a couple of trolleys! Oh no, not my men!
3 hours later they return, ?50 lighter in the wallet and I'm now the proud owner of a fridge full of chocolate, cake, fizzy pop, mulitpacks of crisps and absoutely nothing green or cookable.
Or bread.
Or milk.
Why? Poor ex boyfriend was so dazzled by the bright lights and tempting aisle full of munches his brain turned to sludge and he became every advertising companys dream.
So easily distracted.
method 5
Saturday Nights
"What shall we do tonight hunny"
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Might as well settle down for a quiet evening in front of the telly while you're waiting for a reply.
"What shall we do tonight hunny"
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</center>Might as well settle down for a quiet evening in front of the telly while you're waiting for a reply.
The simple fact is that there's not much to do in Aberystwyth on a Saturday night. You have a choice of pub, pub, cinema, 52 other pubs,video and wine and snuggles on the sofa, restaurant or romanic walk on the beach n chips.
Given my past experience it's pointless to ask. Just have a nice hot bath and read a book while he faffs about trying to work out what to do.
ultimate confusion
The Ulitmate Question
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Need I say more.
I've come to the concluson that this simply has to be my fault. Surely the male of the species would never have lasted this far without being able to make choices. There must be guys out there who when asked a question give a straight and decicive reply, and one that's not a lie. There must be guys out there somewhere who know what they want and go and get it. Guys who don't rely on their girlfriend to choose for them.
I'm picking the wrong sort. And then letting them stomp on me.
Well a new PiX has been born today. A demanding and ruthless one. Take pity on my poor exes because they are about to meet a new and improved Pixie who isn't prepared to put up with the nonsense.
This should sort out the men from the boys.
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