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Well...been pretty busy past week or so. Starting to work more at my job and all. Trying out for Drum Major for next year. Hopefully ill get it. I really want it but there are some really good people going up for it so im not going to get my hopes up. I still want it really bad =/ Anywayz, i havent decided whether or not im going to North Carolina for the summer. In some ways i want to go but in other ways i dont. I want to go because i miss all of my cousins and family. And i dont want to go because of my dad, and the fact that ill most likely lose my job. As well as me being bored as ******** when everyone is busy. I have so many debates about it. I just need to talk to a few people that i am most concerned about if i leave or not and then ill think it through.But yeah well see what happens. If i leave ill only be here until the end of the month which is when school ends.I think ive finally gotten through Lukes death. Its still painful, but i have the good memories of him. Theres nothing i can do but go on. So ill just pick up where i was and keep going.Other than that things are fine. Things are starting to brighten up for me though. Only thing that happened that upsets me is that Ryan officially stopped talking to me because it "hurts too much." Bunch of bullshit if you ask me. But im not worried about it anymore. Ive put way too much effort into trying to stay friends with him despite the situation. Well i need to go make gold if im going to get this nitemare heaband =3 Talk to you all later !!

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