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I will not show pokemon cards to hagrid.
I will not refer to the accio charm as the force
I will not teach house elves to impersonate Jar-Jar
I will not make light saber sounds with my wand.
I will not hold up my wand and shout "I have the power."
I will no sing "Off to see the wizzard" when sent to the headmaster's office.
"To concure the world with flying monkys" is not an appropriate career choice.
I will not tell Snape that he takes himself too seriously.
I will not run around singing the theme to "Mission Imposible."
I will not yell "bam!" every time I apparate.
I will not dress as Voldemort for Haloween
I will not ask harry if his scar senses are tingling.
I will not send a howler to Malfoy from Harry.
I will not sign my papers "dark Lord Happy pants"
I will not bring fortune cookies to Devination class.
I will not tell first years to build a tree house in the Womping Willow.
I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindours in a room together and take bets on who comes out alive.
I will not introduce Peeves to paint balls.
I will not follow potions recipies in reverse just to see what happens.
When being interrogated by the staff, I will not wave a hand and say "these are not the droids you are looking for. "
X-Files tapes are not training videos.
I will not use silencing charms on my proffessors.
Calling Ghost Busters on the Ghosts is cruel.
I will not use Gryffendour and Slytherin first years as x-mas decorations.
I will not put a kick me sign on Draco's back
I will not sing "Bippoty boppity boo" when Professor McGonagall enters the room.
I will not make jokes about Lupin and his time of the month.
professor Flitwick is not Yoda.
I will not plant a flag when i get to the Astronmy tower.
I will not tell Dumbledoor that Gandalf is more powerful.
i will not replace Snape's clothes with ones I took from Lockheart's wardrobe.
I will not point to the Gryfendor flag and ask where Aslan has gone and when he'll be back.
Growing Marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not an "extra credit asignment for herbology"
I will not attempt to breed a "Liger"
I will not refer to showering as "giving Myrtle an eyeful"
House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
Starting a betting-pool on the fate of the DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
Adding the name "Bueller to Professor Binn's roster is not funny.
"Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
I will not reffer to the Weasly twins as "Bookends."
I will not reffer to the Pratil twins as "Bookends."
The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror"."
It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Lupin that "Once you go Black you never go back."
I will not call Lucius Malfoy "Jareth"
I will not bring a magic 8 ball to devination class.
I am allowed a toad, rat, cat, or owl. Not a python, snow leopard, tasmanian devil, or a piranha.
I will not ask if Lupin wants a flea collar.
I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
I will not change the password to the prefect's bath to "makes getting clean as much fun as getting dirty."
There is no such thing as an "Invisability thong."
Sir Cadogan is not one of the nights that say "NI"
I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl
I will not ask when we will make "Love potion # 9"
I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "what's new p***y cat?"
I will not convince first years that the new password to the Gryfendor tower is "Petrificus totalus" and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves.
I must not pay first years a galleon to pee in Moody's hip flask.
I will not leave shampoo on Snape's desk with directions on how to properly wash his hair.
I will not ask Harry who died and made him king.
I will not tell first years that Snape is the voice of God.
Putting a snitch in Malfoy's pants really isn't that funny, even if it does make him scream like a girl.
I am not to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he'd forget his head if it wasn't attached - that's just cruel.
I will not confess to crimes that happened before i was born, even if I have access to a time turner.
Telling Snape that you are Sirius Black - fatal-
getting the Sorting Hat drunk only makes his song funny the first time
I will not tell first years that Peeves is kind and loving.
"Liften separatis crotchum" is not a real spell
Naughty jokes about "Moaning" Myrtle are only funny the first time.
Singing "Slytherins are sexier" in Potions class will not get me extra points.
Stealing Draco's underwear and selling it on e-bay to horny fangirls is not ethical or profitable (get Potter's instead)
Making Harry Potter plushies is wrong. Making Malfoy pay double is also wrong.
"Potter 6, Voldemort 0" is not a valid t-shirt slogan.
Having Colin and Dennis Creevy follow Harry around is cruel and unusual punishment.
I will not sell pennies as priceless Muggle coins.
Madam Promfrey does not dispence condoms.
I will not charm Snape's robes bright purple (or any other color)
"Quidditch players do it in the air" broom stickers are not allowed.
Shaving Mrs. Norris is not a public service.
I will not ask Proffessor Flitwick if there are any charms to remove clothes, or give me x-ray vision.
I will not ask Snape if today's lesson is suitable as a sexual lubricant.
I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name. It's not a challenge.
If a classmate falls asleep i will not take the liberty of drawing the Dark Mark on their arm.
I will not put on a hood, walk up to Harry and claim to be his real father.
No matter how good i can fake an austrailian accent, I will not immitate Steve Irwin durring Care of Magical Creatures Class.
I will not prophesize the end of the world...more than once.
Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" is not.
I will not tell Hufflepuffs that their house colors indicate that they are covered in bees.
Asking "how do you keep a Gryffindor in suspence?" and then walking away is only funny the first time.

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