Neo Chronicles
Episode 17: Am I Crazy?
Table of Contents
I'm pretty sure Jamal hates me now. He really wasn't going for the idea when I pitched it to him, but he eventually came around. Most people have a tendency to do that around me. I honestly don't know if it's because of my charming personality or something else.
What else could it be, though? I'm not psychic. No TP of any kind. Really, I don't know what my ST is. Things just happen for me. Chris has been known for calling me a witch at times. Is that what I am? Is that what I do—magic?
What's the difference between magic and just running really fast or shooting fire out of your hands or what everyone else can do with their ST's? When we got involved with that Jabari guy, he said it had something to do with spirits I think. Nothing really makes sense.
Before I know it, school lets out. Most of the classes sorta just melded together toward the end. I was just going through the motions. Even walking downstairs and outside is more of a mechanical kinda thing. I pay no mind to the thousands of students all bum rushing each other at the sight of freedom.
Blue hair tends to stick out in a crowd. I see Chris walking out to the courtyard with Noah talking to him. Three guesses as to what they're talking about. They spot me and yell out my name. I guess pink hair stands out, too. I try to ignore them because it's kind of embarrassing—two guys prancing around like idiots calling you out. Darius would say something like, “it's not a good look.” But knowing him, he'd be doing it, too. I'm really starting to miss him.
Anyway, that leaves Jamal. I know he doesn't drive, so he has to wait on his ride like the rest of us. He's probably hiding out somewhere avoiding me. I'd avoid me, too, but that's too bad. Just a sea of kids pouring out. Some of them already have their parents waiting on them. Others make themselves comfortable because they know it'll be a while before the cars actually start moving. Jamal, Jamal, Jamal—there—he stands off to the side talking to some other guy.
Being the nice girl that I am, I let him have his moment. Chris and Noah catch up with me and start talking about stuff that I tune out. Something about some game, I think—I dunno, and I just stay looking at Jamal and his friend—waiting for the right moment to invade his privacy like these two boys invaded mine. The problem is, the boys catch on and decide to go in on their own.
“Kai!” Noah says.
I can practically feel the frustration Jamal gets when he hears that name and turns to the person shouting it. I think he tells his friend that they'll catch up later because the guy leaves soon after.
Chris and Noah pretty much jump him. Metaphorically jump him that is. Bombarding him with the whole demon thing.
“No! No! No!” he says again and again. “I already told her no, and I'm tellin' you--NO!”
“Actually,” I have to butt in, too, “you told me yes.”
“I know you didn't believe me.”
“Don't matter! You said it! Word is bond!” Chris says.
“And besides Kai, if you do this, then that's pretty much a guaranteed fix on that thing we were talkin' about.” Noah says.
“You were already supposed to fix it.”
Jamal is dead set against this, and for good reason. He's not looking to die before he graduates, and this is the quickest way, short of jumping off a shuttle to do just that. I get that. To the “find Darius” argument, he says that in all likelihood, we won't find him because we have no where to look. I get that, too. Even Noah starts to get a little shaken by the notion of it.
“Thank you for coming to your senses,” Jamal says. He then looks out to the side of the road to see his dad pull up. He's getting ready to go, but Chris is still not having it. Something in his mind is just not clicking. Hearing Jamal's answer just makes him upset. He has such a weird way of thinking, but having been around him for a good part of my life, I know exactly what's going through his mind right now.
He's thinking that Jamal doesn't care. He's thinking that he's selfish—that he doesn't care about anyone other than himself, even though he knows the person. He's thinking that by him not being willing to at least try, that he believes Darius isn't worth the effort. Chris's feelings are hurt. Anyone around can tell he's super emotional about it, but Jamal sticks to his guns, and frankly, I don't blame him. Really no one can blame him, which is why Chris—even though it physically pains him—says it's cool for him to do whatever.
That sorta makes Jamal pause for a bit. He sees his ride, but he looks at Chris and just stares. “Look, you can think about me however you want, I really don't care. But don't for a second think that I'm not worried about Darius. It would suck if he did somehow get wrapped up in this demon mess, but it would suck even more if we did and he wasn't, or even if we all were, because that would do nothing. You hear me, nothing. Tell me, I'm wrong about that! I hope you come to your senses before you get killed. You're worried about him, that's good. Do something real about it. Let the people trained in this ish handle it. And don't go out all half-cocked on your own thinkin' you're gonna do something!”
“Alright,” Chris says. It's a sad sound to hear—his voice all broken up.
“Alright, what? You're not gonna be stupid? You're gonna take my brilliant advice?”
“Nah, dude. It's good. I hear you. You don't wanna go, that's on you. Go home, I ain't tryna waste no more a' your time. I'mma still do what I can and try an' solve this the only way I can see how. I know this is bigger than just some missin' person's case.”
“Are you stupid?”
“Call it what you want.”
“Nexus, I really think Kai has a point here,” Noah tries to reason with him, too. It's funny. I shouldn't laugh at it, and I bite my lower lip to stop myself from doing it, but it's funny because they really don't know how hard headed he is.
“If you want out, too, I'm cool wit that too. It'll be just me,” Chris says.
“Just you? How in the world do you think—know what? I'm done. You wanna get yourself killed, I can't stop you.” I know he's not done. Jamal seems like the kind of person who would normally walk away from a situation like this, but for some reason, today is not the day.
“How are you gonna get to the demons without Jabari, anyway? It's not like you can do that crazy stuff he was doing, right?”
“No, but I can—sorta.” And here I go, throwing myself out there again.
“You're going too?” Jamal asks.
“Oh yeah, because—well, I'm probably crazy, but I gotta side with Chr—I mean—Nexus on this. Darius is a good friend. We know what the demons can do, and we know pretty much how to stop them. I've seen it done, and I'm thinking I might be able to do something like it. Jabari put his faith in us when he picked us out, and if we weren't acting like ten year olds, we'd probably still be out there with him.”
Everyone sorta just looks at me for a moment. I know I caught them all off guard. They all—Chris included—probably know that I'm crazy now, and truth be told, that's okay with me. Somehow someway, Noah said that he can't let us two go it alone. I guess that means he's in now. As for Jamal—
He starts to walk off. Then he stops. Then he walks back. Gives us the most menacing scowl he can muster, then says he's in, too. He hates himself for it—I know he does. And he hates me, Chris, and Noah all the more, too, but for whatever reason, he's in.
We decide it'd be best to actually meet up two days from now. It'll be Saturday, then. So we'll have the whole weekend to try and do something. After that gets settled, there's not much more talking that goes on between us. Was a pretty heavy note there. Jamal leaves, and then me and Chris leave together. His mom drops me off at my place. Not a word was spoken between us in the car, either. It was kinda weird.
Back in my rusty old torn down dumpster of a place, I see that I'm the only one who's alive and moving about. No telling what Emily's doing right now. It's a little early for her to be out like she usually is, but with her there's no telling. Maybe a demon ended up taking her, too.
I was halfway bluffing, halfway serious when I said I could do what Jabari did. Haven't tried anything of the sort until now. What was that he said? Stop looking with your eyes? I don't remember. I sit on my beat up old mattress—legs crossed, the lights are off, but a little bit of the dusk sun shines in. I close my eyes thinking that if I think about it hard enough—really concentrate—something special will happen. Something should happen. I block out all background noises and—well for lack of a better term, I just wait. Can't tell if anything that I'm doing is working.
I feel a cool breeze slap me in the face. The sun's beaming down on me. Nature's sounds of birds, woodland creatures and—no, that's not right. I'm inside in one of the most industrialized parts of—I open my eyes and find myself mistaken. I'm no where near my house—or even outside for that matter. Just in an empty space—a white space. It's strange, yet familiar.
I'm in the Axis Mundi—and I think—yeah, that looks a lot like Jabari standing in front of me.
Episode 17: Am I Crazy?
Table of Contents
I'm pretty sure Jamal hates me now. He really wasn't going for the idea when I pitched it to him, but he eventually came around. Most people have a tendency to do that around me. I honestly don't know if it's because of my charming personality or something else.
What else could it be, though? I'm not psychic. No TP of any kind. Really, I don't know what my ST is. Things just happen for me. Chris has been known for calling me a witch at times. Is that what I am? Is that what I do—magic?
What's the difference between magic and just running really fast or shooting fire out of your hands or what everyone else can do with their ST's? When we got involved with that Jabari guy, he said it had something to do with spirits I think. Nothing really makes sense.
Before I know it, school lets out. Most of the classes sorta just melded together toward the end. I was just going through the motions. Even walking downstairs and outside is more of a mechanical kinda thing. I pay no mind to the thousands of students all bum rushing each other at the sight of freedom.
Blue hair tends to stick out in a crowd. I see Chris walking out to the courtyard with Noah talking to him. Three guesses as to what they're talking about. They spot me and yell out my name. I guess pink hair stands out, too. I try to ignore them because it's kind of embarrassing—two guys prancing around like idiots calling you out. Darius would say something like, “it's not a good look.” But knowing him, he'd be doing it, too. I'm really starting to miss him.
Anyway, that leaves Jamal. I know he doesn't drive, so he has to wait on his ride like the rest of us. He's probably hiding out somewhere avoiding me. I'd avoid me, too, but that's too bad. Just a sea of kids pouring out. Some of them already have their parents waiting on them. Others make themselves comfortable because they know it'll be a while before the cars actually start moving. Jamal, Jamal, Jamal—there—he stands off to the side talking to some other guy.
Being the nice girl that I am, I let him have his moment. Chris and Noah catch up with me and start talking about stuff that I tune out. Something about some game, I think—I dunno, and I just stay looking at Jamal and his friend—waiting for the right moment to invade his privacy like these two boys invaded mine. The problem is, the boys catch on and decide to go in on their own.
“Kai!” Noah says.
I can practically feel the frustration Jamal gets when he hears that name and turns to the person shouting it. I think he tells his friend that they'll catch up later because the guy leaves soon after.
Chris and Noah pretty much jump him. Metaphorically jump him that is. Bombarding him with the whole demon thing.
“No! No! No!” he says again and again. “I already told her no, and I'm tellin' you--NO!”
“Actually,” I have to butt in, too, “you told me yes.”
“I know you didn't believe me.”
“Don't matter! You said it! Word is bond!” Chris says.
“And besides Kai, if you do this, then that's pretty much a guaranteed fix on that thing we were talkin' about.” Noah says.
“You were already supposed to fix it.”
Jamal is dead set against this, and for good reason. He's not looking to die before he graduates, and this is the quickest way, short of jumping off a shuttle to do just that. I get that. To the “find Darius” argument, he says that in all likelihood, we won't find him because we have no where to look. I get that, too. Even Noah starts to get a little shaken by the notion of it.
“Thank you for coming to your senses,” Jamal says. He then looks out to the side of the road to see his dad pull up. He's getting ready to go, but Chris is still not having it. Something in his mind is just not clicking. Hearing Jamal's answer just makes him upset. He has such a weird way of thinking, but having been around him for a good part of my life, I know exactly what's going through his mind right now.
He's thinking that Jamal doesn't care. He's thinking that he's selfish—that he doesn't care about anyone other than himself, even though he knows the person. He's thinking that by him not being willing to at least try, that he believes Darius isn't worth the effort. Chris's feelings are hurt. Anyone around can tell he's super emotional about it, but Jamal sticks to his guns, and frankly, I don't blame him. Really no one can blame him, which is why Chris—even though it physically pains him—says it's cool for him to do whatever.
That sorta makes Jamal pause for a bit. He sees his ride, but he looks at Chris and just stares. “Look, you can think about me however you want, I really don't care. But don't for a second think that I'm not worried about Darius. It would suck if he did somehow get wrapped up in this demon mess, but it would suck even more if we did and he wasn't, or even if we all were, because that would do nothing. You hear me, nothing. Tell me, I'm wrong about that! I hope you come to your senses before you get killed. You're worried about him, that's good. Do something real about it. Let the people trained in this ish handle it. And don't go out all half-cocked on your own thinkin' you're gonna do something!”
“Alright,” Chris says. It's a sad sound to hear—his voice all broken up.
“Alright, what? You're not gonna be stupid? You're gonna take my brilliant advice?”
“Nah, dude. It's good. I hear you. You don't wanna go, that's on you. Go home, I ain't tryna waste no more a' your time. I'mma still do what I can and try an' solve this the only way I can see how. I know this is bigger than just some missin' person's case.”
“Are you stupid?”
“Call it what you want.”
“Nexus, I really think Kai has a point here,” Noah tries to reason with him, too. It's funny. I shouldn't laugh at it, and I bite my lower lip to stop myself from doing it, but it's funny because they really don't know how hard headed he is.
“If you want out, too, I'm cool wit that too. It'll be just me,” Chris says.
“Just you? How in the world do you think—know what? I'm done. You wanna get yourself killed, I can't stop you.” I know he's not done. Jamal seems like the kind of person who would normally walk away from a situation like this, but for some reason, today is not the day.
“How are you gonna get to the demons without Jabari, anyway? It's not like you can do that crazy stuff he was doing, right?”
“No, but I can—sorta.” And here I go, throwing myself out there again.
“You're going too?” Jamal asks.
“Oh yeah, because—well, I'm probably crazy, but I gotta side with Chr—I mean—Nexus on this. Darius is a good friend. We know what the demons can do, and we know pretty much how to stop them. I've seen it done, and I'm thinking I might be able to do something like it. Jabari put his faith in us when he picked us out, and if we weren't acting like ten year olds, we'd probably still be out there with him.”
Everyone sorta just looks at me for a moment. I know I caught them all off guard. They all—Chris included—probably know that I'm crazy now, and truth be told, that's okay with me. Somehow someway, Noah said that he can't let us two go it alone. I guess that means he's in now. As for Jamal—
He starts to walk off. Then he stops. Then he walks back. Gives us the most menacing scowl he can muster, then says he's in, too. He hates himself for it—I know he does. And he hates me, Chris, and Noah all the more, too, but for whatever reason, he's in.
We decide it'd be best to actually meet up two days from now. It'll be Saturday, then. So we'll have the whole weekend to try and do something. After that gets settled, there's not much more talking that goes on between us. Was a pretty heavy note there. Jamal leaves, and then me and Chris leave together. His mom drops me off at my place. Not a word was spoken between us in the car, either. It was kinda weird.
Back in my rusty old torn down dumpster of a place, I see that I'm the only one who's alive and moving about. No telling what Emily's doing right now. It's a little early for her to be out like she usually is, but with her there's no telling. Maybe a demon ended up taking her, too.
I was halfway bluffing, halfway serious when I said I could do what Jabari did. Haven't tried anything of the sort until now. What was that he said? Stop looking with your eyes? I don't remember. I sit on my beat up old mattress—legs crossed, the lights are off, but a little bit of the dusk sun shines in. I close my eyes thinking that if I think about it hard enough—really concentrate—something special will happen. Something should happen. I block out all background noises and—well for lack of a better term, I just wait. Can't tell if anything that I'm doing is working.
I feel a cool breeze slap me in the face. The sun's beaming down on me. Nature's sounds of birds, woodland creatures and—no, that's not right. I'm inside in one of the most industrialized parts of—I open my eyes and find myself mistaken. I'm no where near my house—or even outside for that matter. Just in an empty space—a white space. It's strange, yet familiar.
I'm in the Axis Mundi—and I think—yeah, that looks a lot like Jabari standing in front of me.
