Yo Mama So Ugly
she put the Boogie man outta business.
she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt
when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."
when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'
she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!
minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."
they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.
when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!
yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...
she put Marilyn Manson out of business.
she was a guard at Snake Mountain
they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...
even Harry Knowles refused to date her.
they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!
she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.
Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.
you papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.
she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.
we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.
I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.
her shadow gave up.
people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...
her mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.
when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.
hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats.
instead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.
they gave her a middle name...'accident'.
she fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.
when she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!
even Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...
when she was born the Doc smacked her face.
You Momma so Ugly that she's got her very own Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags named after her...
Anything Yo's - So Ugly...
Yo Poppa so ugly he turned Medusa to Stone.
Yo Postman so freakin ugly he made the guard dogs sh*t themselves.
Yo Dentist so ugly they don't need anasthetics
Yo Boss so ugly people go as him for halloween.
Yo Priest so ugly that he have to give his Sermon from inside the Confessional Box.
Yo Teacher so ugly when she walks into the Building Society they turn off the CCTV cameras.
Yo Sister so Ugly that George Lucas cast her in Star Wars 3 as Jabbas wife - without the need for a costume.
Your kid bro so ugly that for Halloween he tricks or treats on his mobile phone!
Your Kid sister so damn ugly that when she sits on a sand dune at the beach, the cats try to bury her.
You cousin so ugly that when he threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
Yo Driving Instructor's so ugly he has to wear a ski-mask when teaching.
Yo Mother-in-law so ugly, she won first place in the Wookie lookalike contest.
Your Girlfriend's so insanely ugly that I can screw her in any position and it's still Doggy-style!
Yo Girlfriend so ugly they put her in the Chimp enclosure to stop the Chimpanzee's from jerking off!
Yo' Father in law so ugly that his American Express card left home without him...
Yo Sister's so ugly that she must been conceived on the Motorway - ain't that where most accidents happen?
Yo Dog walker so ugly that he once took your Mutt to Crufts and WON - oh, the dog came second...
Your sister-in-law so god awful ugly that Durex want to use her as a poster child.
Yo Father's so ugly his hairline ain't receding...it's his hair that's running away from his ugly noggin.
You Grandma's so Ugly her Shrink makes her lie face down on the couch.
Your Grandpa so freakin ugly that when he gets up in the mornin, the Sun goes down.
Yo' Mum so ugli that even Prince Charming refuses to kiss her - he'd rather live as a frog.
Yo older sister so ugly that Mommy had to feed her with a fishing rod.
Yo Uncle so astonishingly ugly that whenever he comes over and goes to your bathroom, the toilet flushes.
Your Dog's so ugly as yo Momma that I had to shave its arse and make it walk backwards...
Yo mama's so ugly, hold on....you got a mirror handy???
Yo Mama's sister so ugly that Blind men refuse to have sex with her.
Yo Uncle so ugly, Spielberg wants him in Addams Family 3
Your kid so ugly the Doctor is STILL smacking his a**.
Yo Mother in law so hellishly ugly, that president George W Bush is considering making ugliness a crime, punishable by the electric chair
Yo Momma's so ugly that she hurt my feelings...
Your doctor's so ugly she manages to give Freddy Kreuger Nightmares!
 iThe Doctor · Fri Jun 29, 2007 @ 01:33am · 0 Comments |
