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My life for real and on gaia
This is all about me and how my real life is and my gaia life
Welcome to my world! (This is my favorite poem so far!)
Can you hear me yelling?
That i am in pain?
Welcome to my world, where nothings the same.
The darkness & sadness no one is here.
Welcome to my world where every thing's to fear.
When you see me crying do not worry
I'm in my world where everythings gory.
Spend time with me & you will see
the pain & fear that's really inside me.
I can't escape no matter how hard i try
'fore i can't face the darkness, i can't deny.
For me this is my own hell ,
How long i will be here i cannot tell.
Thank you for trying I'm here for good
No one can save me, no one ever could.
Can you hear me yelling?
That i am in pain?
Welcome to my world, where nothings the same.


Thank you Seraphim2 for the grammer check! Grammer is not my strong point!





A new poem will be put up tomorrow
Please ask if you want to put it in your sig, profile etc






User Comments: [72] Viewing page 0 of 2 · Goto Page: 1 2 »  [add]
alpha_falcon
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 01:04am
hi


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 01:10am
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I luv poems nice



ShinkuWind
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Pickle Inspector
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 01:11am
i like it


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 01:25am
Wow awesome poem! Are you a poet? blaugh



0okie Cookie
Community Member
Kurai Komori
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 01:46am
Wow, your good.


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 01:54am
That's really good...
I like it!!



The_darkness_of_light
Community Member
UsagixXxTsukiko
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 02:06am
Awsome poem! You're really good. 3nodding


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 02:15am
LOVELY POEM I FEEL UR PAIN AND SUFFERING



emo_bunny_cookies
Community Member
miss edmunds
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 02:17am
this is good. if you like to write poetry, and need feedback, you could go onto allpoetry.com I have and account there, my name is just-a-lonely-girl


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 02:21am
Righto. 'Painful' poems are way overrused. Try to be original. You also might want to check your spelling as 'gorry' is not right. The rhyming is good, and I'm not trying to be mean. Just offering some advice. Spell check mostly. Good job though. biggrin



Rebel Stand
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bns_jck
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 02:26am
The world fades
in the power I hold
Hard to stay
not to fly
to be
all the same
just to be with you


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 02:57am
kool ^^



DevilxGoth
Community Member
ll PunK ll
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 03:32am
This is an awesome poem. I really like it.

I'm also a writer. I'll be posting up some of my own work either tonight, or tommorow. If you could, take a look at it and tell me what you think.


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 03:32am
i love this poem!!!!
it is so good!
i wish i could write this good!

i give u 10 stars! (out of 10)



twinone
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recall720
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 03:33am
its sweet i love it heart biggrin


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 03:35am
OMG!! You are my friekin hero!! I luff your work!



Apocalyptic Teddy Bear
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Lagg Overload
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 03:40am
THIS IS AMAZING!!!
I know you don't know me but this poem is AWESOME!
is it ok if I put it in my pro??
ill put your gaia name next to it


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 03:44am
That's really good. ^^ You have a knack for writing poetry. It's a bit emo, but I write a lot of emo poems, so I really have no room to talk. XD



possumcat23
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Lil Runner
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 04:17am
ur poem is awsome it's touching to me!!! Great job on that


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 04:18am
Its alright, it seems a bit repetitive though, try to vary it.
Oh and it needs to have an exciting ending, something that will surpise and excite the reader.
Trust me, ive been writing poems for 6 years



Desmotes
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Antiquing
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 04:23am
Cool poem, now comment mine.

D<


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 04:26am
I like it, it's very good.



MCLmyhomies
Community Member
ChildEatingSavage
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 04:31am
Several grammatical errors, generic emo subject matter, overall I don't like it.


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 04:43am
omgosh! thats soooooo good!!!!! awsome job!! i loved how everything ryhmed really well and made sense ^^ awsome job!!



Dance-With-The-Moon
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Fragile Broken Heart
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 04:48am
s**t that is awesome, I love it.


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 05:51am
Thanks for everyone's opinion



Pimpin Puppyluv-
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Krulake
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 06:23am
Very good!!! Can't wait to read some more!


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 06:26am
Very nice poem, deep.



`CuT_mE_aLiVe`
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rockyursocksx3
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 06:31am
There's one thing I don't get. "Can you hear me yelling? That I am in pain?" I think what you meant was....Can you tell that I am yelling? That I am in pain? Also....the whole darkness and sadness in poetry thing got old a while ago. Unless there's a deep connection and it has to do with something like the war or the loss of a family member or some s**t like that....it just isn't good.


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 06:33am
Horribly unoriginal subject.
Choppy.
I couldn't make sense of most of it.

Most poems, if you work hard enough at editing, can be good, but I really think that this one can go nowhere. Sorry, but I'm being honest.



Uffs
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-An Awesome Username-
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 06:36am
THAT WAS AWESOME eek


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 06:53am
it's pretty good, i want to go to your world



Jinn123
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joyousblue
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 06:57am
i think its better than the others but, it's still sort of choppy. torwards the end, it was very short and brief, while the begining was longer.


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 07:19am
I read a few of them, and I really like this one.

Good job.

:]



sourou
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zeth_leser
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 07:28am
Thats a pretty good poem, what you need to remember is it dont matter what other people think about it as long as your talking about what you feel and what is in your heart


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 07:39am
xd awesomeness!! xd



PEPLUM
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saki_kamikaze
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 08:09am
...........I like this one a lot more


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 08:12am
...........I like this one a lot more



saki_kamikaze
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xoxoBleedinRoseBudxoxo
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 03:45pm
Well, I have to say...this is really a beautiful poem. I loved it xd ahaha. You don't know me, but I saw you post something that said to check out your journal for your poems in this one thread so I decided to check it out. I see these types of poems everywhere, but this one is one of the best! GREAT JOB!!!


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 04:30pm
[~this poem is very good +]~]



fpslover
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mr_far
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 04:53pm
´¯`·.·User Image´¯`·.·User Image´¯`·.·User Image
En.. not so crazy about...
well i never liked poems...
´¯`·.·User Image´¯`·.·User Image´¯`·.·User Image


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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 05:10pm
I write poems aswell.
I like yours.
Its nice.
:3



Misa Amane-ZB
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Umerez
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 05:13pm
DANG! you got 42 comments eek as always good work biggrin


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 05:14pm
wow
its awesome



XPS(Chaos)
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Emolicious Gummy Bear
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 05:15pm
Very good. I like it a lot.


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 05:17pm
Wow, just wow. That is very emotional, too beautiful to describe how much this expresses the torture of the unknown. if I could rate it, a perfect 10/10.



Adamathias
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Vetala
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 05:35pm
you should become a song writer. and if you can sing good, a singer.

that's incredible.


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 05:47pm
i love it to b honest heart heart heart
it is really great



unholyhell
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star sorbet
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commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 06:18pm
Super Awesome!!! Probably my fav. out of your too.


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 06:25pm
wow. that's deep.



Psycho Dough Boy
Community Member
User Comments: [72] Viewing page 0 of 2 · Goto Page: 1 2 »  [add]
 
 
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