I am going to tell you Three things......... Separation.....Divorce......Depression
The three things children feel when your family goes through a divorce...... I told my friends about this today and now I am telling you all how I really feel.... It started well when my parents well my father hit my mom for the first time which that got her really in concideration (sp) of getting a divorce I saw the whole thing of my dad hit my mom and I had a feeling to bring my knife on the trip but instead I thought what if the army checks our bags or something like that so I didnt but as soon as we were headed out my dad got angry for some reason oh yeah now I remember he thought my mom was cheating ( She wasn't though which it was all in his head .......believe me I know what goes on) I wish I had my knife. Few states over I felt regret for not kicking his a** but something told me I didnt have the guts to do so........... I wonder why the hell didnt do it... Anyway my mom is now sick of it and she is going to ask for her job back and I might be moving sometime soon but I am going to miss everyone at school.... Hard to say but I am more depressed than ever because they keep on asking me "Are you feeling Okay because it's not your fault" but yet I say " Don't worry mom I am ok and I know its not my fault" I put on a smile that makes my lie become true and yet I feel so bad about it........................... I have finally made the decision of going with my mom plus she reminded me to visit my dad but I probably won't mostly because when ever we talk it seems like it ends in an argument with me thinking of ways t cool down or I might just kill the 6'3 280 ibs. father of mine to my 5'7 1/2 ...ibs. compared to that I might actually hurt him with my sinister thoughts of killing him but I try not too but it is hard but anyway they are getting a divorce and I am depressed for some reason and I have no Idea what to do like where are we going to live.................?
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Im dieing my soul has betrayed me; Turned it's back. My friends what Friends There are'nt any because I here in darkness alone I take out my box cutter I pull up they blade I sit in the corner regretting of how I let you come so close to my heart I thought I actually loved you but I was foolish To belive such things...I screamed Out "You leaved me You Told me You would never leave me" I cry then I said "You left like the others in the past present and future" I brought the blade to my wrist and my concious say dont do it.....I was in so much pain in my heart it was breaking in two no it was truely shattering. When I said I loved you that day I knew I was Over. I soon brought the knife closer and slowly cut through my bare skin I started to see some blood lightly come through then I did it once more on my arm then again and again I soon had more than 500 cuts or probably more my whole arm was bleeding and the sight of my own blood made me feel better as soon as I stood up without any bandages I heard the doorbell ring I opened the door and I see only people in black and someone saying is this the house of oceanblurose i replied yes and soon the speaker comes up to me and says "My love I missed you so" I instantly thought i-it's him the one who I thought was like the others but he's here solid human he was older than I and I didn''t care I knew I loved him i hugged him he saw my arm he pushed my away and said what happened why are you cut I didnt notice I had the box cutter still in my hand and soon I said faintly "You left me You told me you wouldn't you left me in darkness I loved you and yet you're here please tell me this love I call is real because if it not I wont bear nothing I will be a worthless shell..........." I passed out only hearing my name being called over and over only passing into loneliness of my orietented darkness waiting for me........
with the moonlight shining on me I try to reach up and and touch it
Please Help Me To Get My Dream Avitar
with the moonlight shining on me I try to reach up and and touch it
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Please Help Me To Get My Dream Avitar