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Im dieing my soul has betrayed me; Turned it's back. My friends what Friends There are'nt any because I here in darkness alone I take out my box cutter I pull up they blade I sit in the corner regretting of how I let you come so close to my heart I thought I actually loved you but I was foolish To belive such things...I screamed Out "You leaved me You Told me You would never leave me" I cry then I said "You left like the others in the past present and future" I brought the blade to my wrist and my concious say dont do it.....I was in so much pain in my heart it was breaking in two no it was truely shattering. When I said I loved you that day I knew I was Over. I soon brought the knife closer and slowly cut through my bare skin I started to see some blood lightly come through then I did it once more on my arm then again and again I soon had more than 500 cuts or probably more my whole arm was bleeding and the sight of my own blood made me feel better as soon as I stood up without any bandages I heard the doorbell ring I opened the door and I see only people in black and someone saying is this the house of oceanblurose i replied yes and soon the speaker comes up to me and says "My love I missed you so" I instantly thought i-it's him the one who I thought was like the others but he's here solid human he was older than I and I didn''t care I knew I loved him i hugged him he saw my arm he pushed my away and said what happened why are you cut I didnt notice I had the box cutter still in my hand and soon I said faintly "You left me You told me you wouldn't you left me in darkness I loved you and yet you're here please tell me this love I call is real because if it not I wont bear nothing I will be a worthless shell..........." I passed out only hearing my name being called over and over only passing into loneliness of my orietented darkness waiting for me........
with the moonlight shining on me I try to reach up and and touch it
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All I Have To Say
A few of my friends a couple of days ago started to give me the silent treatment. It's not as if I was sad but when I talked they acted as if I wasn't there for a little while but I soon forgot why the hell did I have friends anyway..... I know its a silly thing to ask but I felt really lonely until I realized I never really had true true friends because if they do something wrong in the end I usually pay them back with resintment with no mercy...... in words I mean as cruel as it sounds but I wish I never made friends.................or is that what I want to say......*sighs* When I was little I never made any friends because I use to be smart with my words I soon got sick of being so alone I locked up the old me and became the shy one who thinks of sinister things and usually brought it out on occasions when I got sick of someone....After so long I forgot who I use to be and now I am sick of myself being stepped all over like a rag but not no more next year I will only have to be nice when I want to be and for those who get on my nerves to the point I am filled with anger I will say what I have to say but in a polite matter.... Asking for people to stay around you to not be lonely is just waste of time if they just betray you and use your fear of being alone against you so I will just deal with myself and not worry about anyone because I seriously dont care about about life no more






User Comments: [2] [add]
Death1001
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sat May 26, 2007 @ 05:12am
will you really do that? if so yay you. also plz do that with me to,lol cool violent chicks are awsome biggrin


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 01, 2007 @ 12:14am
oh Really and sometimes I wonder why do you always look in my journal



yuki_oujo
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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