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CemeteryGirl's Journal Well......


CemeteryGirl
Community Member
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Spoken:
Small, simple, safe price
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals
And I am not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to bleed, and ********, and fight.
I want the pain of payment
What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted ********
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand ********?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid
To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter
I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart
Love is not like anything
Especially a ******** knife

Look at me, you can tell
By the way I move and do my hair
Do you think that it's me or it's not me?
I don't even care
I'm alive
I don't smell
I'm the cleanest I have ever been.
I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry dry

chorus:
Just look at me, look at me now
I'm a fake x4
Just look at me, look at me now
I'm a fake x4

Do I drink? Do I date?
I've got perfect placement all my ink
Satisfied, in your eyes
I'm the biggest fan I've got right now
I made sure, that I look how I wanted to look
The people around me, the people surround me
I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry dry

chorus

My stomach hurts now, and all tied off in lace
I pray, I beg for anything, to hit me in the face
and this sicknes isn't me, I pray to fall from grace
The last thing I see is feeling
And I'm telling you I'm a fake x4
And I'm telling you I'm...

chorus




1 comments
Please listen to what I have to say...
It seems I hurt alot of people...I'm very very sorry. You are all really good friends...but...I guess what i'm trying to say is I can't handle hurting you guys. I have said alot to make people cry, I have broken promises, forgotten them, and hurt myself. All my life i've figured hurting myself would make th pain go away, if I lust killed myself then nobody eles would have to suffer from my mistakes. And believe it or not...I was right. So goodbye.



CemeteryGirl
Community Member
dev1



CemeteryGirl
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User Image




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Me...
User Image Go ahead, look at my happy smile, you won't see one very often...



CemeteryGirl
Community Member
dev1



CemeteryGirl
Community Member
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Good lyrics..
girl anachronism

you can tell
from the scars on my arms
and cracks in my hips
and the dents in my car
and the blisters on my lips
that i'm not the carefullest of girls

you can tell
from the glass on the floor
and the strings that're breaking
and i keep on breaking more
and it looks like i am shaking
but it's just the temperature
and then again
if it were any colder i could disengage
if i were any older i could act my age
but i dont think that youd believe me
it's
not
the
way
i'm
meant
to
be
it's just the way the operation made me

and you can tell
from the state of my room
that they let me out too soon
and the pills that i ate
came a couple years too late
and ive got some issues to work through
there i go again
pretending to be you
make-believing
that i have a soul beneath the surface
trying to convince you
it was accidentally on purpose

i am not so serious
this passion is a plagiarism
i might join your century
but only on a rare occasion
i was taken out
before the labor pains set in and now
behold the world's worst accident
i am the girl anachronism

and you can tell
by the red in my eyes
and the bruises on my thighs
and the knots in my hair
and the bathtub full of flies
that i'm not right now at all
there i go again
pretending that i'll fall
don't call the doctors
cause they've seen it all before
they'll say just
let
her
crash
and
burn
she'll learn
the attention just encourages her

and you can tell
from the full-body cast
that i'm sorry that i asked
though you did everything you could
(like any decent person would)
but i might be catching so don't touch
you'll start believeing youre immune to gravity and stuff
don't get me wet
because the bandages will all come off

and you can tell
from the smoke at the stake
that the current state is critical
well it is the little things, for instance:
in the time it takes to break it she can make up ten excuses:
please excuse her for the day, its just the way the medication makes her...

i dont necessarily believe there is a cure for this
so i might join your century but only as a doubtful guest
i was too precarious removed as a caesarian
behold the worlds worst accident
I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM




1 comments
I can't take this anymore!
I can't please everybody, I can't make everybody happy! You want to know the honest truth? I have no good friends! What the ******** does everybody want me to do? Everybody makes me feel like such a total ******** up!! I don't know what the hell you all want me to do, but im not perfect! I'M NOT ******** PERFECT!!
I know im not the best friend, I know im not the best kid. I've made plenty of mistakes in my life but im trying to turn that all around! But you know what, im going to continue doing what I do to myself, (and most of you know what that is), if nobody will drop the subject and give me a ******** break about it! Im sure each and every one of you at least make 1 ******** mistake a day!!! No, more then that, way more then that!! So leave me the hell alone about it!!! This doesn't go to everybody, but those who make me feel like a peice of s**t!, you know who the hell you are!



CemeteryGirl
Community Member
dev1



CemeteryGirl
Community Member
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2 comments
A story.....
My mom begins to scream at me, I tell her I hate her.
She hits me, bruises me.
I run to my room, I grab a knife and begin to dig. Dig deep into my wrists. Digging, down to my veins.
I start to bleed, I grow pale, I start to cry because the blood won't stop.
I won't stop bleeding so I scream. My mom runs into the room, gasping. She runs over to me screaming my name. All I can see now is light. A pale light. Then nothing. I hear my mom scream for me. Then scream for help.She screams my name over and over, telling me to hold on. ''Im here'' ''Can't you hear me?''
She ignores my faint cries. Then I see doctors around me. ''Whats going on I ask?''
''Listen to me! ''Whats going on?'' Then I hear the doctors words......Shes gone.
I begin to panic. ''Im not gone'' I scream. ''Im not gone!'' ''Why wont anybody listen to me?!'' Then I see my mom crying, standing over my cold dead body. Crying. screaming.

All this time I thought nobody can see my...hear me. Now im really gone. Now they really can't hear me. They can't see the tears I shed, and they will never know how I feel. Nobody can help me now. My body is still living, but my soul is dead. it doesnt matter what you do, what you say. Im not here anymore, so don't bother trying to help me.




0 comments
Lifes meaning...
I never really knew what to call life. What its true purpose was. I really didn't know if it even had a meaning. I gave it some long thought and realized that it is an actual game.
A game of survival. A game to see how long you can last before time runs out. It's a game to see what your purpose of being here is and how much you can get accomplished.
It's like a videogame. At one point you die, but before then you want to see how far you can get.
You make friends, you lose friends. You have loved ones and at one point they die to. You feel sad, you feel hurt. But at the same time you feel happy and want to travel the world and meet new people. You get new tasks every day even when you don't realize it. Simple tasks, such as taking your dog for a walk, or going to check the mail. Anything can happen to you, anybody can attack. Thats why you should always be on your gaurd.
Just like game characters, fantasys, ect. You can become ill, if you don't find that special antidote before times up, the sickness becomes worse and can soon kill you off.
Basicaly life is a challenge, to see how far you can get, and to see what you can accheive. Thats how i look at it anyway.



CemeteryGirl
Community Member
dev1



CemeteryGirl
Community Member
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1 comments
Dedicated to my big sister. She knows who she is.....
Please don't blame yourself.
You have done nothing to hurt me in the future nor past.
I love you like a sister, you make me with my life would last.
You always reassure when all the bad time occure.
You know im filled with sorrow and you know im filled with pain.
Sis none of that's your fault you help me wash it away like rain.
All I really want is to be free, I want to be with the one I love and fufill my dreams with you beside me.
You've been there beside me through thick in thin.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! It's life...Life that sickening game nobody can win.
Yeah thats right it's life, it's just lifes horrid game.
The game of survival and turning hopes and dreams to shame.
So please stay with me, and please don't blame yourself.
I need you to stay with me, for you give me my hopes, strenght, and health.




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