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The History of the World
The REAL Bible.
God's Prophets


Many generations after Noah, a man named Job, who was faithful to God, became a highly successful rancher in the land of Uz. One day God bet Satan that Job wouldn't curse God even if he lost his ranch, wealth, health, wife, children, and got some really nasty boils. Satan, who still missed his limbs, wanted no part of it. But God became so furious, Satan feared another flood. So Satan relented, but pleaded for Job, saying, "Behold, all that he hath is in Thy power; only upon himself put not forth Thy hand (you schmuck)" (Job 1:12).

God followed through with his threat and his bet. Job, who like Satan feared for the world, said, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21). God knew that Job yelled His name in sarcasm and anger (and believed God was a schmuck), but didn't care because He won the bet.

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