x Don't x Forget x Me x
BiiRTHc3rTiiFiiC4t3 S@ys
Ŀα¢єч Ŀєє Ŀιzвєтн ღ
bUT d03sN'T Leelee, Lacilee, Lace, or Liz. s0uND b3tt3r?
ii Bl0W th3s3 m4NY c4nDl3S
17
ii'M kn0WN @s
Lacey, the sweet, shy, smart, and--no longer secretly--bullimic girl with dreams too big for her to hold on to, though she is trying.
iiT's so Cr4ZY 'cUz ii'M s0
Upredictable, really. Though people say I'm sweet and what-not. Hey, I try. You know, I had always seen myself as the chubby girl of the group, and of course that was pretty painful for me. Specially compared next to girls like Tobi and Lena. Skinny and oh-so-stunningly beautiful. Lucky... Lucky... Lucky. Hey, I'm sorry. I can't help but compare. They're everything I'm not. Everything I want. Everything I STRIVE to reach for. Did I mention I want to be a famous soccer player? Yeah, well, you can't do that if you're all fat. I felt the pressure in ninth grade, the first year I ever tried going bullimic, and succeeded. I told Lena, but everybody know's now because of her stupid journal. I can't say I blame her TOO much. But, I'm still pissed. Specially at Jake. How dare he call me a poser?! That... That.... !!!... Poser!! Yeah, I know. Great comeback. It seems like the only people I can talk to anymore is Derek and Clark.
tHr0Ugh0ut th3 y3ArS ii'V3 l34rN3D
That people always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. I was always a pretty slim child, healthy, anyway. But, when I reached about the age of 10, I hit a growth spurt and started puberty at the same time, though I didn't start PMSing and all that until I was like, thirteen. Which is pretty normal I guess... But my eating habit's sky-rocketed. I was eating all the bad things at all the wrong times. Midnight snacks of chocolate and candies--makes me sick even thinking of it now--and by the time I turned 14 I weighed one hundred and sixty pounds, and most of that weight was centered around my stomache. Like I said earlier, this was tough in ninth grade with all the teasing and comparing and I really couldn't take it. I went bullimic and still am. You can't just quit something like that. I've lost alot of weight from then until now... About forty pounds, if not more. I'm trying to stop, but it seems if I eat, I throw up. Without even doing anything. It's really exhausting. Well, my parents are pretty normal. They don't know about this journal thing, thank god. But, they still noticed something was wrong and sent me off with the other five friends and ex-friends--which was mostly my dad's idea for me to go--to live together in one house in California.
Oh... Joy...
I don't mind Clark and Derek being there. I can talk to them, and they're both absolutely adorable! Derek is really sweet too. Tobi and Lena bug me, but I can't say I absolutely HATE them. I just don't care to speak to them right now. As for Jake... Heh. I don't think things are going to get better between us. Why couldn't he just come up and tell me I was acting like a poser? I wasn't meaning too. I hate it when people talk about me behind my back, and that's what he did. I almost agree with Clark on the fact that... Well, I think he might be gay... I mean, there IS a possibility.
Speaking of parents, though, mine are pretty normal. I mean, if you call their everyday 'fights' normal. They don't get into any physical fighting crap, just verbal. They're always threatening about how they are going to divorce and s**t. Frankly...
I really wish they'd just shut up and do it already. End it! My god.
Of course, I'd stay with my mom just because she's completely awesome. My dad sucks, I hate him, end of story. My mom doesn't try to force me to do the right things because she knows I need to decide for myself what is right and what is wrong--if I make a mistake, I'll learn from it--which I've done pretty well, up to now, I mean, besides the whole bullimic thing. But, that isn't THAT big of a deal...
Is it?
Yeah, would you like to hear the most trouble I've gotten myself into? Well, I'm really accident-prone, and not to mention I've got caught making out with an ex. Not that my mom cared... She's pretty laid back. Yeah. That's about it. I drink very rarely and sometimes on holidays and maybe when I'm just really stressed or if I'm over at a friends house and they're having a drink. I use to be more like the sober taxi ride for my friends when they were drunk. I've never done pot or smoked and I'm still a virgin--tease me about it. I don't care--but oh well. I'm a rebel against my dad. I REALLY don't like him. Well, as for what's been going on with me, that's pretty much it. I might've missed a few things though, I'm not sure. I don't really like talking about myself too much.
ii LiiK3 GiifTS
__ Animals
__Boys
__Nature
__Music
__Literature/Art
__My mom
__When I feel like everything is going to be okay
__Kind laughter
__Fun
__Flirting
__Honesty from everyone
s0 D0n'T g3T m3
__Clowns (thanks to the movie "IT" wink
__Hardly being able to keep food down
__Small inclosed spaces (in short: claustrophobia)
__The dark, when I'm alone.
__Hard-hard core rap
__My dad
__Being teased/mocked
__Betrayal
M4SqU3r4D3
[-CandyCoatedColors-]
