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Every time, every time...I get my hopes up for something...anything...no matter how big or small...being able to go see a movie in theaters...seeing a friend I haven't gotten to see in awhile...getting a car, finally, at 18 years old nearing 19...all these things people, my loved ones, promise me...I promise I will get the car taken care of...I promise I will take care of the cat while you're gone..I promise you we won't move again...I promise you I will stop smoking pot...I promise you, I promise you, I promise you. and like an idiot I believe them. not a single one comes true. not a single promise is valuable. I get all happy and excited about something happening, and if it happens at all, I need to go through a million up and downs, maybe, maybe not, oh it wont happen, oh it will, before I finally reach my goal. this is with every ******** aspect of my life. I'm just done...I don't want to get excited over anything anymore...I don't want this continual disappoinment...I don't want to have to involve PEOPLE in my life, because they are fickle and undependable...I'm just done...done with people, done with taking promises...I will just do everything on my own. I can't even trust my fiance's word. It will just be me, me myself and I, and it's lonely yes, but at least I know I won't disappoint myself.