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She quickly glanced across the room hoping he was looking her way. He was. He was staring intently at her. Or was it the snow that was falling outside the classroom window? Either way, he still had to look at her. She nudged he best friend. “He’s looking at me he’s looking at me!” she hissed. Lily just rolled her eyes and went back to taking notes.

“Lunch time!” Sarah announced as she walked out of her English classroom towards her locker, which just happened to be next to Michael’s. “Hey” she said hoping to distract him from the beautiful blonde that was walking toward the. “Hey” he mumbled barely paying attention to her. Jealously filled her as she thought…She’s so pretty, it’s not fair, if only I was her. If only I was Samantha. If only I was as beautiful as she was, if only I was as skinny, if only I was as funny, if only I was as smart. She finished her mind rant knowing quite well that she was much smarter than she was, it was only something to add to her list of ‘if onlys’. “Hey, hon, how was…” Kimberly didn’t finish. She could tell something was wrong. “Nothing” Sarah said as she turned and ran towed the stairs before the tears began to fall. She didn’t hear footsteps behind her. ‘Good’ she thought. She has had to tell her friends too many times not to follow her when she ran off crying to the bathroom. They know she wants to be alone. They also know if she has been down there for a while they could go down. She just needed to cool down.

A few minutes later she emerged from the bathroom where her friends were waiting outside. “I’m fine, really.” She said. “Come on, I’m hungry”. She said as they walked out toward the lunch room. Just as they got in the lunch room she saw Michael grab Samantha’s a**. She dropped her lunch and ran back toward the bathroom. Kimberly and Lily shot him a dirty look and ran after her.

She could here the footsteps this time. She ran faster wanting to beat them there. She ran into the building, tears steaming down her face. She ran into the stall and locked the door. She retreated to the back wall, her sobs now uncontrollable. Her two best friends crawled under the door, not bothering to knock. They both put her arms around her and whispered comforting words.

“He’s an a**” Kimberly whispered.

“He’s not worth you or your tears” Lily whispered after.

She didn’t listen and she didn’t care. ‘They don’t know how much it hurts to see him with her, how much it hurts to know he’ll never love me, how much it hurts everyday, how much it hurts to think he’s staring at me when he’s really staring at her’. She buried her head in Kimberly’s shoulder and sobbed. She felt the world spinning around her. She could here voices that weren’t her best friends. The first was Emily, the second was Amy, the third voice, and the most comforting voice in the group was Chrissie.

She heard Emily say she was going to get Ms. Gavin because they couldn’t handle it alone. She shouted in protest, the last thing she needed was a teacher, even if it was Ms. Gavin. She was too late, Emily was already gone. She struggled out of her friends grasped, crawled the under the stall and got up and ran to the sink and splashed water on her face.

“What are you doing”? They asked. She didn’t answer. She dint have time. She had to make it look like she wasn’t crying. She dug around her pockets for eye drops that she kept there for occasions like this. She felt the tear shaped bottle in her hand it pulled it out. She quickly unscrewed he cap and dropped them into her eyes.

She looked in the mirror. She looked normal. Good. That’s what she was going for. She turned around just as Ms. Gavin walked through the door.

“Sarah, are you ok?” she asked with concerned eyes.

“I’m fine” she said with a fake cheerfulness in her voice. “Really, I am” she added

“But Emily said…” she started.

“Emily thought that I was crying, but I was laughing. She thought I was crying. She was confused. Right guys?” she shot them a look that said ‘You tell her the truth and I will never talk to any of you ever again’.

Kimberly stepped up. “Yeah she was just laughing. I told her a joke and she thought it was hilarious when it really sucked”.

Ms. Gavin looked convinced and walked out the door.