My mother's step father (A.K.A Papa Bill) died this moring...
He was a really nice man. Exept on the road with idiots, hee. He was really nice, he really was.
He...
He..
He, just cared.
...
I just wish...
I really wish,
I wish I knew him better.
Hee, I feel like such a lozer. I can't cry to any one. I can't tell my best friend he died, I can't tell my mom anything, and I can only agree with my Dad telling him "I Know." But I can brake down infrunt of my computer, and...
cry.
I can only cry to my computer...
I really feel like a lozer now more then ever.
~~~
I make matters even worse, my best friend since forever is moving all the ******** hell to Florida. It never really sank in before, but today she brought over her stuffed animals that she couldn't take with her.
She is my best friend, even if I can't tell her that, she has always been just a walk away when ever I needed her, but now...
~~~
I hate my sister, she doesn't care, ever.
I honestly hate her.
If I had to climb a mountian, I didn't have to come back down I could die up there I just had to get to the top or my sister would die.
I would not because I know she will not change.
My mom says that she is crazy and we have to remmind our selfs of that every day.
Like hell, my mom is crazy too, so why should I belive that? My mom thinks she is getting better, my sister doesn't even admit she is crazy, my dad is too tierd to care, my brother is just getting by.
My only conclution is I'm the crazy one and every one else is sane. That is the only thing that makes sence to me.
I need a theripist, but I can't get one. Yeah shure why not go to the shcool kid threripist that makes all other kids feel better? Because thats me. And the teachers I don't trust, because then they will call my mom and my mom will try to talk to me and...
It will just be the same thing over again, I lie to every one so that they will not worry about me.
I've been lieing ever since kindergarden.
Really do have problems but in two mounths I will also have no friends so those problems will mean nothing.
~~~
I am a Lozer, I have no life, and my computer is the only one I trust. I will die alone know only in an apartment building as the crazy cat lady without the cats.
Nobody Loves me,
And over all things in this world,
Nobody Care wether I live or die.
I am a Lozer now and forever.
~ Niekco
He was a really nice man. Exept on the road with idiots, hee. He was really nice, he really was.
He...
He..
He, just cared.
...
I just wish...
I really wish,
I wish I knew him better.
Hee, I feel like such a lozer. I can't cry to any one. I can't tell my best friend he died, I can't tell my mom anything, and I can only agree with my Dad telling him "I Know." But I can brake down infrunt of my computer, and...
cry.
I can only cry to my computer...
I really feel like a lozer now more then ever.
~~~
I make matters even worse, my best friend since forever is moving all the ******** hell to Florida. It never really sank in before, but today she brought over her stuffed animals that she couldn't take with her.
She is my best friend, even if I can't tell her that, she has always been just a walk away when ever I needed her, but now...
~~~
I hate my sister, she doesn't care, ever.
I honestly hate her.
If I had to climb a mountian, I didn't have to come back down I could die up there I just had to get to the top or my sister would die.
I would not because I know she will not change.
My mom says that she is crazy and we have to remmind our selfs of that every day.
Like hell, my mom is crazy too, so why should I belive that? My mom thinks she is getting better, my sister doesn't even admit she is crazy, my dad is too tierd to care, my brother is just getting by.
My only conclution is I'm the crazy one and every one else is sane. That is the only thing that makes sence to me.
I need a theripist, but I can't get one. Yeah shure why not go to the shcool kid threripist that makes all other kids feel better? Because thats me. And the teachers I don't trust, because then they will call my mom and my mom will try to talk to me and...
It will just be the same thing over again, I lie to every one so that they will not worry about me.
I've been lieing ever since kindergarden.
Really do have problems but in two mounths I will also have no friends so those problems will mean nothing.
~~~
I am a Lozer, I have no life, and my computer is the only one I trust. I will die alone know only in an apartment building as the crazy cat lady without the cats.
Nobody Loves me,
And over all things in this world,
Nobody Care wether I live or die.
I am a Lozer now and forever.
~ Niekco
