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One Last Time, My Old Friend |
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She was so unaware when he came into her life. Fragile and young trying to find her way in a world she thought she was ready for. I guess you are never really ready in the end. This world is a labyrinth with twists and turns that are unforeseeable. Late at night she looks back wondering if she knew all along the end of this story.
He was beautiful and wonderful. The first time she met him she was left breathless and dizzy, not knowing what to make of the whirlwind inside her. When you're young, a nine year difference in age seems like the world, but as he walked away she thought maybe this time she'd make an exception.
Flawless he was not. Much had happened in his life, leaving him a mix of wise and confusing. It seemed like he always knew what she was thinking, feeling, wanting. It was all the little things, the looks the inside jokes, the way he cared so deeply for people and the world. That's why she couldn't shake those thoughts. To her, he was everything.
Through her short life she had learned it was best to keep people at arms length. If you let them get too close, let your guard down, all that comes of it is misery. She built walls thicker than ice an stayed in the fortress she built herself alone but safe.
Somehow he slipped past it all effortlessly. All the defenses all the traps were nothing to him. He was at the core of her heart before it became clear to her what was happening. Once she realized it was far too late, but for some reason that was okay to her.
They worked long days with one another, scarcely sharing a sideways glance for fear of being noticed. The bond was there though, they could both feel it grow with each passing day. And then, as life works, if fell apart.
It was a late night, when she met the Queen. It threw he off guard that he introduced her so casually, as if it should have been obvious. But then again it really should have. Of course someone as amazing as he was would already have a queen to share his empire with.
She was shattered but put on her brightest smile and sweetest voice, agreeing to share a cup of tea with them. Through the ordeal she kept upbeat and positive, laughing on queue and nodding politely when prompting, even sharing stories an thoughts of her. The Queen could never have guessed the turmoil she was causing inside the young woman.
The Queen was stunning. All glossy black hair and huge brown eyes. Combine that with how well endowed she was and her intellect you had a woman that would be a catch for anyone. The young woman was beautiful as well, though she'd never know, and her youth gave her the suppleness an innocence the Queen could not compete with. Although the young woman wanted to like her, the very thought of this woman existing made her sick inside. She should have walked away right then and there, but she froze. So with one last fake smile as they dropped her off at home she scurried into the safety of shelter and finally unleashed all her tears.
Things are never cut and dry, as they should be. And after all, he was only a man, only human. Letting his emotions (and carnal drive) get the best of him, he kept the young girl close. The Queen knew nothing about it of course, but a torrid affair began.
Over and over again, they'd sneak away from work or leave early to carpool and end up in the sweet ecstasy of the flesh. She relished every moment of it and he ravished her like no other. Guilt is a strange emotion for it can be so consuming and so easily ignored simultaneously. That being said of course they both felt plenty of guilt but pushed it away. More often than not when getting dressed he would proclaim it the last time and she would hurriedly agree. And when the next opportunity came they would crumble and give in to the flesh.
More than anything she wanted him to herself. The Queen haunted her though they hardly interacted. Every night before bed he was in her head, but the Queens bed. Slowly it killed her on the inside.
One faithful day as she dressed after a rendezvous he once again said no more. This time was different though, guilt is slow but in the end very effective. Inside she made a resolution to make it stick.
At the next opportunity he tried to sneak off with her and for once she declined. Begging "Just one last time, my old friend" he kissed her softly. Willpower was on her side and she kept her stance. During the next few months this became a pattern, always him whispering "Just one last time, my old friend" and her refusing. As time passed in this pattern, he never gave up but they drifted. Eventually the saw each other so sparsely that the moments they had together were spent catching up. That summer, He married the Queen. She stood in the back watching the joyous event with tears in her eyes knowing he was gone forever. As he kissed his bride she slowly walked away and disappeared from his life. She built the walls of her fortress up higher and stronger until no one could ever pass them again and retreated to her old comfort, this time for good.
To this day the thought of him brings tears into her frail eyes. By now he was gone from this earth and she remained with nothing but his memory. After all those years she still couldn't believe that she had believed someone could love her, especially someone so special. From the day of the wedding till the very end of her days she held her head high knowing that decision was the right one. But she ended her days alone, and till the time she drew her last breath every night she could swear she heard his voice whispering softly "Just one last time, my old friend"
"You are my sweetest downfall, I loved you first..."
"How's it going to be when there's no one there to talk to between you and me. How's it gonna be when you don't know me, anymore? How's it gonna be? How's it gonna be?..."
" If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened if you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself..."
 princess of Apathy · Wed Jun 12, 2013 @ 11:36am · 0 Comments |
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