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We've all heard the common goth, cynical stereotypes be it in media, or by those outside the subculture. Consider the standard following and see how many apply to you.
- Depression
- Nihilism
- Great distaste for many things mainstream
- Misanthropy
- Edgy
- Rude/Elitist
Usually these are negative stereotypes which don't actually represent the goth subculture nor do they apply to every goth. However, sometimes these may actually apply to some goths.
Depression
This world is pretty ******** and when one is goth, they usually have a pretty good understanding to how things are as we ourselves often grow up with ridicule and or worse. Most people in the world have some form of depression as things are just ******** and takes an enormous toll on one's mental health. So in my view, yeah, most goths deal with depression but that has nothing to do with goth. It's just part of living on Earth.
Nihilism
There are several definitions of the word.
1, the doctrine that nothing actually exists or that existence or values are meaningless.
2, relentless negativity or cynicism suggesting an absence of values or beliefs.
3, political belief or action that advocates or commits violence or terrorism without discernible constructive goals.
I can see how the first two would be assumed of goths but the third, absolutely not. Goths being violent is one of the worst negative stereotypes which I do not even feel the need to go over here as most goths are peaceful and know better.
For number 1, that comes from goths often rejecting the norm, such as things like religion. 'Values' is thrown in there because the ignorant don't realize that you don't need to be religious to have morals and values.
Number 2 comes from again, goths rejecting the norm and having a distaste for many mainstream things. This is pretty much the same as number 1. This word over all does not represent goth because goths can have any various sort of beliefs and there is no religion or lack of religion that represents the subculture.
The only thing that could apply to goths under nihilism is rejecting the norm but at the same time, again, it doesn't represent all goths or the subculture.
Great distaste for many things mainstream
This is the above but without the rest of the contrived rhetoric. Again, liking things outside of goth is not relevant to the subculture. Goths can like anything and everything and still be goth. The only things a goth must like to be goth is the majority of things that make up the subculture.
There are however, many goths that do have a great distaste for many mainstream things, myself included. Things and people that are superficial, over-commercialized, pretentious, senseless and overall fake. An example of things like this would be Pop music and Valentines day. This is also actually where the age old "hatred for preps" came from.
Once again, this does not represent the subculture nor is it a requirement to be goth. Literally, the only requirement to be goth is to have an interest in most things that are goth. Not all goths share this disdain but it is commonly held amongst many.
The comically, seemingly over exaggerated hatred for harmless things
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"If you hate life, truly hate the sun and need to smoke and drink coffee you are goth." - South Park Goth Kids.
I personally have a deep hatred for certain things and that itself could be seen as comical. I absolutely hate with a passion, Pop music. There aren't many things I feel that way towards as my hatred for them isn't that deep lol. A certain few things though, yes, yes it is. I find Pop music to be extremely annoying and fake and I can't stand hearing it. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me, it really is. I also can't stand pretentious and superficial individuals and media. It honestly disgusts me to see people so fake and entitled.
Referencing the South Park Goth Kid's quote, I also can't stand the sun too much but I wouldn't consider that even a hatred. It's just a nuisance and I mostly keep my blinds and curtains up in my house. Often times I can find sunny days to be depressing as it just feels so ordinary and is just a reminder of "business as usual" which is incredibly depressing, meaning nothing's changing for the better.
As for the 'hating life' bit. That gets to be a bit much and I don't really care to discuss my deep depression here but it is a sentiment shared by many, myself included to a degree because of the unfortunate circumstances most of us face. For me, it's not that I hate life, as I view lives as precious, but living on this planet is hell. Again, that's not something I'm going to get into here.
Regardless, hatred is also something that is not associated with goth nor is it a requirement to be goth which would be ridiculous and counterproductive. As people in general, we will all have things we dislike, but disliking things is not what make up a subculture. Subcultures are about being interested and partaking in a subset of common interests such as fashion, music, art etc.
Goths are usually very kind and loving people but at the same time, most of us do have a distaste for things that are harmful, fake, or whatever else negative trait. That is because being goth does usually mean being open minded towards things outside the norm.
Misanthropy
This is a very old one that I in the past would see be stereotyped with goth. For those unaware, it means, hatred or mistrust of humankind. The only way I could see this be associated with goth is by us disliking those who are unsavory and the corrupt ways of the world. That is a sentiment shared by many people, not just goths because who in their right mind would enjoy ill-willed individuals or how things just seem to be ********? For its actual definition, it honestly makes no real sense to hate humans in general. That being said, this is absolutely not something relating to goth.
Edgy
According to Urban Dictionary, edgy is a term used to describe something or someone that tries too hard to be cool or provocative, often in a cringe-worthy way. That is pretty funny to me as it's quite accurate. However, edgy is absolutely not something goths are in that regard. The subculture is also not edgy as it is overall, an appreciation and seeing beauty in the darker aspects of life.
On the contrary, some goths, even myself can be 'edgy' in some ways. Edgy in a way that's 'not trying too hard or to be cool,' but in a way where we can express an exorbitant amount of either love for something or disdain. For example, I myself absolutely love darkness. Like literal darkness to where I find extreme comfort and solace in simply being in a dark room or in the dark in general. Same could be said for my aforementioned deep hatred for Pop music.
To my understanding, that could be considered 'edgy' as well. Another example is one of my oldest friends. I call him a 40 year old edge lord because of his exorbitant amount of dark humor. This use of the word does not mean "trying too hard to be cool," but rather the latter.
Does this mean goths are edgy or that the subculture is consequently edgy? In the latter sense, it very well could be. A couple of the literal definitions of edgy are 'daring' and 'unusual in a way that is fashionable or exciting.' I would agree with goth being described as such in that sense but the word has more so been contrived to the Urban use which is negative, therefore I personally wouldn't use it to describe goths or the subculture. Though if someone not as familiar with the Urban term were to use it, I wouldn't see it as disrespectful or ignorant.
I sometimes actually use it to describe myself, the literal meaning, not the Urban. Though, I did have an 'edgy phase' (Urban sense) many years ago where I was an absolute try hard with an over the top dark and morbid sense of humor. I'm vastly different from that now days. When I use it to describe myself in the literal sense, I'm more so talking about my exorbitant amount of fondness for some dark things or my rare, deep disdain for certain things.
Many young goths, or baby bats can go through a similar edgy phase (Urban sense) themselves as at that age, we are still just learning how things are. Generally many things in this world are pretty ******** and unfair, so that gives young people the sense to want to rebel while at the same time, being 'in your face' about it.
Regardless, Urban 'edgy' does not represent goth or the subculture even though most of us have gone through that phase. Edgy of that sort is just a learning process for us which we usually end up growing out of.
Rude/Elitist
This is absolutely one of the most common stereotypes about goth. Too often goths in media are depicted as rude and obnoxious while in reality, I'd like to think that the vast majority are very kind and down to Earth people. There absolutely are however, those that are rude and act as elitists.
What exactly is a goth elitist? It's when one acts controlling and gatekeepy over the subculture. While some may be intelligent with valid points, others are less mindful and just respond to things they don't like with knee-jerk reactions, biting off the head of whoever dared to appose their views. An example of the less mindful type would be when they say "goth is only about music, nothing is goth but goth music." That is both rude and incorrect. We all know that there are several other aspects to goth than just the music. They however want to be controlling and refuse to look at the bigger picture. They just want to feel right and in control.
I can understand many things but I can't wrap my head around one saying "goth is only a genre of music" as it doesn't make sense. There's no real logic to it as that'd just be ignoring everything else that's goth such as fashion, art, literature and so on. To me it seems that those who say it aren't actually that ignorant, but rather they just don't care and want to have it their way.
Other than that phrase among the elitist types, there are some elitist fundamentals that I can understand and can sympathize with. I understand wanting to correct misconceptions of things such as certain band genres or whatever else in the goth scene. More often times that not, the reason they get so up in arms about these things is because goth is something they hold dear and don't want to see it "tarnished" with incorrect information. I get it, but at the same time I see that as unnecessary. One person's incorrect labeling of a nongoth band to being goth, is not the end of the world and it does not hurt the subculture.
The only time I myself get up in arms is when something harmful is labeled as goth. Such as calling it a "fetish" or that it's related to self harm or any other type of abuse. That is a sentiment all of us in the subculture share.
So as far as goth elitism goes, we should at least try to understand where they're coming from regardless if they are being rude or not. It is something they hold dear, so they are being sensitive about it. Fair, but at the same time, people need to eventually learn to not let harmless things get to them because one, it can be hurtful to others, it can push some away from the subculture and it gives the subculture a bad look.
How does that bring a negative look on the subculture while other, worse misconceptions don't? Because elitists are actual goths, therefore what they say isn't from an outside source that can just be brushed off. They are taken seriously and often respected. I do agree that everyone deserves respect, but not everyone should be taken so seriously. Ie, don't take what they say to heart and let it ruin the whole subculture for you. They are entitled to their view points but they don't get to tell others how to live.
Yes some goth elitists are just straight assholes but not all of them are. Just be understanding, know where they're coming from and don't take it too personally if one flips out on you. Remember that most goths are very kind and understanding people who are happy to inform others as well as fellow goths on things regarding the subculture.
As for rude goths in media. I don't know the exact origin of that but I can imagine it comes from the aforementioned goth elitists. One can be rude when someone gets something about the subculture wrong or could be seen snapping at someone or something who isn't part of the subculture. That also goes back to the term 'edgy' (Urban sense) as one in their edgy phase heavily rejects the norm, more so than some of us do when we've grown out of that phase.
In closing, there are many stereotypes, both negative, positive, and mutual about goth and many have some truth to them to some degree. It's interesting to know the origin, history and meaning behind them all. It can help us to get better understandings of things and each other.
Keep in mind to be understanding towards others even if they don't have the same viewpoints. When someone believes something different, there's always a reason and an origin as to why they do. It's also interesting to learn about that in people as well. Most of us are already pretty kind and understanding as is, but there's always something new to learn, be it about the goth subculture, psychology, or about people in general.