Okie doki...
Well I've been thinking.. about my ex Tyler, especially last night. I don't know why but just thinking about what we said what we did... and now he doesn't even acnowledge that we were together. He knows but doesn't ... I don't know admit it to himself. Hes told me that we went out, but won't accept it. And the one thing that really gets me is that he said he loved me. I mean I know you like someone and care for them deeply but love is such a strong word. And it dawned on me... why does [did?] he love me? He never told me why. The only thing he told me was that I was different. Because aperently(<sp?) all the other girls he's met never denyed him about anything. [And if that made no sence : whatever he said the girl did or agreed with] ANYWAY I didn't do that or agree with whatever he said so I was an "a** hole". Although I do consider myself an a** hole when I wanna be but still. The last thing I remember [last conversation] was when he tried getting me to in his words mastrbate (<sp?) over the fone. And I didn't want to ... I don't feel confortable mastrbating period and all he really wanted was fone sex.. So I tried talking to him and he doesn't respond. and I call him and he'll talk to me but just dropped the emotion just like a snap of the fingers.. And I haven't been able to stop thinkning about him. Which I HATE.. OMG but if I could just tell him I love him [Which I do think this is a "form" of love : teenage love to be exact! ^^] and see his reaction I would be able to move on.. [Its been about 6 months after our year relationship] ... and mabey put all this behind me..
no guidence for my soul Community Member |
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